Navigating the Painful Sex: A Guide to Vulva Owner
Term breakdown about pain
First, I want to accurately describe what I mean when saying “sexual pain.” I mean genital pain or pain derived from external genitals (including vulva, vulva, vagina, labia, mabusia and labia minora) or internal genitals (including vagina, cervix, ovaries, ovaries and uterus). Muscular educament is a medical term for penetrating sexual pain that can occur before, during or after sexual intercourse. Vulvar pain is a medical term for pain in the vulvar area and it varies from person to person and depends on the cause. Your pain may come and go, remain relatively stable, or only burst when touching or inspiring the area. It can also occur outside the area where sexual activity/touched. You may experience burning, soreness, tingling, primitive or sharp/knife-like pain. If you experience any type of sexual pain, it is important to have a specific situation with your doctor.
One of the biggest details to consider is what pain is caused? If you are not sure how to describe this, it may be helpful to be familiar with your genitals. Although it may feel uncomfortable at first, grab a handheld mirror and look there. You can also print out the anatomical table and try to identify your own parts. This can help you to be more clear with your doctor and other professionals where the exact pain is described. * If you become self-conscious or ashamed when looking at your genitals, challenge this! Genitals come in many different shapes and sizes, and they are all beautiful. You can record where this shame might originate, where it learns, and how it affects your diary. A sex therapist can help you solve this problem.
There are some other things to consider before visiting a doctor about painful sexual behavior:
- Is the pain constant or coming and going?
- When does the pain begin? If it does stop, when usually when?
- When did you notice the pain first?
- Will you feel pain if you insert your finger or tampon?
- Does pain occur every time you have sex or only in some cases?
Potential causes of pelvic pain in vulva owners
- Lack of enough lubrication – Foreplay is important! Make sure your body is ready to penetrate and lubricate fully. If your body itself does not produce enough lubrication, use lubricant! Read our blog for more information on which type of lubricant is best for you
- Pelvic floor muscle
- Inflammation, infections and skin diseases
- Hormone changes – including hormone contraceptives, endometriosis treatment, ovarian removal, breast cancer medication, acne medications and menopause
- Endometriosis
- Injury or trauma in affected areas
- The history of sexual trauma
- anxiety
- Negative thoughts about sexual or sexual behavior
- Negative body image
A silver lining: Painful treatment options
If you partner with it, pain can also lead to relationship trouble. It can be helpful to have a conversation with your partner about the pain you’ve been through, what you want to do about it and how it affects your relationship in a non-gender context. Also know that sex and intimacy must be more than just penetration or certain activities that you feel painful. Try to expand the definition of sexual and intimacy and engage in other activities that won’t cause you pain, such as kissing, massage, oral sex, using sex toys, listening to eroticism together, showering together, taking a shower together, masturbating each other or anything else you find enjoyable! Options are unlimited.
Want to talk to an expert? Begin online therapy in Minnesota.
Other Sexual Health and Couple Treatment Services in Minnesota

Anal Beads
Anal Vibrators
Butt Plugs
Prostate Massagers
Alien Dildos
Realistic Dildos
Kegel Exercisers & Balls
Classic Vibrating Eggs
Remote Vibrating Eggs
Vibrating Bullets
Bullet Vibrators
Classic Vibrators
Clitoral Vibrators
G-Spot Vibrators
Massage Wand Vibrators
Rabbit Vibrators
Remote Vibrators
Pocket Stroker & Pussy Masturbators
Vibrating Masturbators
Cock Rings
Penis Pumps
Wearable Vibrators
Blindfolds, Masks & Gags
Bondage Kits
Bondage Wear & Fetish Clothing
Restraints & Handcuffs
Sex Swings
Ticklers, Paddles & Whips



