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I’m a sex therapist – Don’t do these 4 things in the hottest time of 2025

I'm a sex therapist - Don't do these 4 things in the hottest time of 2025

This is Four– Play games you don’t want to play.

A California sex therapist shares four things she would never do with a partner in the bedroom – and her amorous advice is resurfacing as people pledge to make 2025 the hottest year yet .

Vanessa Marin, who first shared her tips on Instagram last year, said she decided on these four tips after working with thousands of couples over two decades.

Even though Vanessa Marin is a sex expert, she admitted in a photo with her husband that it took her a while to get fully comfortable with him. TikTok / @vanessandaxander

Despite being a sex expert, Marin admits it took her some time to fully gel with her husband.

“For Xander and I, it took us many years to figure out what a supportive, compassionate and responsible relationship looked like for us,” she said.

“Remember, you are a team and you can work together to build a more supportive and compassionate relationship.”

Marin first shared her tips on Instagram last year and said she settled on the four tips after working with thousands of couples over two decades. TikTok / @vanessandaxander

The first are Marin’s four taboos: letting her husband do all the initiative just because “he is a man.”

The sex-positive counselor claimed that intimacy can be instigated by both parties, and suggested that men like it when women express their sexual desires.

Second: if her man is not in the mood to do dirty things, Marin will never make him feel bad.

Other sex therapists claim that it’s important to respect your partner and give them space when their sexual desire isn’t strong.

According to previous research, forcing them to mate only causes them to associate sex with negative emotions in the future.

Followers were excited about Marin’s advice, saying it would definitely help their sex lives. TikTok / @vanessandaxander
“For Xander and I, it took us many years to figure out what a supportive, compassionate and responsible relationship looked like for us,” she said. TikTok / @vanessandaxander

The third thing Marin would never do to her husband: keep quiet about what she wants in bed so as not to hurt his feelings.

Therapists believe that only open communication can lead to a passionate sex life, which means respectfully discussing your wishes is key.

“Be sure to discuss new boundaries and expectations with your partner in a patient, respectful and intentional way,” she says.

Finally, Marin said that if her partner had performance issues, she would “never take it personally.”

The psychiatrist says many people take it personally when a partner suffers from erectile dysfunction – whether it’s a one-time occurrence or more frequent.

However, “crying, pouting, saying ‘you must not be attracted to me'” only leads to increased performance pressure and pressure.

Followers were excited about Marin’s advice, saying it would definitely help their sex lives.

“These are great!” one person cheered. “There are so many ways we set ourselves up to fail under strict expectations. Thanks for sharing.”

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