The Silent Crisis: Busyness is Creating Sexless Marriages

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I have been aware of the growing trend of sexless marriages in Asian countries for decades. In the early nineties, a Japanese psychiatrist introduced the term “asexual partner.” He defined it as the mutual consent of a couple not to have sex without any circumstances preventing it. Today, an estimated 45% of Japanese couples are asexual. In South Korea, 35% of married couples are asexual. In both countries, the number of low-sex marriages is half that number.

Of course, there’s also a lot of masturbation, and a lot of sex with prostitutes. Sex with a partner requires a lot of energy, according to a researcher. Paid sex is easier and less expensive in terms of time and energy. Masturbation is easier. Some people think that the lack of sex among Japanese and Korean couples is because they are too tired of having sex after marriage.

We in the United States are going the same way. The best research I can find says 15% of marriages are sexless. Many believe this number is an underestimate, and if low-sex marriages are included, the number could easily be over a third.

Again, lack of time and energy are the biggest factors. There are many couples there, both husband and wife masturbating. They want sex, but they don’t have the ability to have sex with their spouse. Solo sex comes down to practicality.

Many men who claim to want more sex do not have the time or energy to have sex that is beneficial to their wives. Their complaints are hollow because they are unwilling to do whatever it takes to make sex more mutually pleasurable.

Busyness is a national epidemic. It’s taking a toll on our physical and mental health. It’s hurting our children. Plus, it’s killing our marriages and sex lives. Japan and South Korea have already demonstrated progress in this regard.

I wrote this article about sex to get your attention. But beyond sex, there are plenty of good reasons to rethink how busy we are. Please take some time to pray about this issue. Then in 2025 do what you believe is right for God.

Image source: © Andrey Popov | stock.adobe.com
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