I was dating a regular guy – and then he showed me

Well, let me talk about a recent date I had – a night with real twists and turns. Spoiler: it involves torches. Yes, you heard that right, flashlights and slightly raunchy stuff. But first, let’s recap.

So, last week, I went on another date in New York. No, sadly, not Mr. Big (a girl can dream), but it’s not a bad choice either. Younger, well educated, and clearly on a good career track.

We first met in January at a winter party in a dark New York speakeasy that practically screamed “shenanigans are going to happen here.”

Why did he make such an impression? His costumes did the heavy lifting. He wears a hat that boldly says, “Show me that asshole.” Yes, really. Well, FYI, it was a costume party and I appreciate his sense of humor. So, when he found out I was back in town and invited me to dinner, I thought, “Why not?”

Fast forward ten months, and my memory of him is hazy—except, of course, for the hat. I thought I was going to meet that cheeky guy and I had already had four martinis. But when I arrived at the restaurant, I was greeted by a polite, slightly shy guy who seemed…normal. Dare I say even healthy? No “butthole hat” in sight.

The evening was fun. He was having a nice chat – though not quite as wacky as I expected – until he bulgingly pulled out…a blue UV flashlight.

Let me describe the scene: Dinner is over and we order another drink. I happened to compliment the bracelet he was wearing because, honestly, it was kind of cool – unique and not the Cartier clone that everyone seemed to have.

Then, with a slight smirk, he reached into his pocket, popped up a blue light and said, “You’ll never believe what’s in this bracelet.” He turned on his flashlight and shined it on the beaded bracelet, and suddenly, some little lights lit up. stand up.

When he explained what those dots were, my jaw hit the floor faster than it had in my last relationship. “Oh, that’s my cum,” he said, casually, as if he’d just ordered another martini.

“Sorry, what?” I asked, sure I heard wrong.

“Yes. That’s my cum,” he repeated with a smile.

Let’s just say it made me rethink everything I knew about jewelry and romance.

Apparently, there’s a company in Canada that turns male semen into bracelets. He and several friends wear them proudly on their wrists.

The next day I was still confused, but I decided to dig deeper. He told me the name of the company that made them and the… um… process? You send this professional jewelry company a jar of your freshest contributions. They dry it into a powder, incorporate it into beads, and ship it back with UV light so you can always light up your, um, memories.

The genius behind the idea is Canadian jeweler Amanda Booth, who has been making these sentimental pieces for some time. She calls it “lively jewelry,” and to be honest, I’m not sure if I should be impressed or shocked.

It all started in 2021 when someone cheekily asked her on TikTok if she had ever considered using “man juice” in her designs. Amanda, a sports enthusiast, made a tongue-in-cheek Facebook post about the incident. To her surprise, requests started pouring in. Now, she has hundreds of clients who commission custom pieces made with their love juices. Romantic, 2024 style.

But let’s not pretend that it’s all glitz and glam in the world of DIY sperm accessories. Amanda told VICE that while fresh samples are manageable, what about samples sent through the mail? coin. “Smells like semen, you know what I mean,” she said. Baby, unfortunately, we do.

She even implemented a “no deal with it in the morning” rule after a particularly smelly day. Lesson learned: Only handle said jewelry after lunch.

Amanda’s TikTok showing off the process quickly went viral, racking up 5.8 million views. Love it or hate it, you have to give it to her – it may be the most unique sentimental keepsake ever.

So here’s one to file under “Things I Never Thought I’d See in My Lifetime.” Dating in New York is like a circus, but what about this? Next level.

Let’s see what next week’s date brings – maybe a guy whose socks are made of pubic hair. stay tuned.