Jana Hocking: I met a big guy in New York – and his ego was

It’s 4am and a very sexy man wakes me up gently. No, not because he was horny – although, trust me, we did manage to squeeze in a little action – but because my playful lover’s alarm had just gone off and I was politely but firmly kicked out.

This was the first real sign I’d faced in New York – my very own Mr. Big.

Like the character in “Sex and the City,” he’s the perfect combination of power, mystery, and a bit of emotional turmoil. He is an older, successful, attractive businessman who is undecided about commitment. But one thing is for sure: he knows how to charm you.

Dear readers, I found myself waking up next to him after a very successful date.

Now, I’m not saying I manifested Him…actually, yes, I did. Recently, when I stumbled across one of his viral videos—in which he goes on an impassioned rant about a topic that’s very close to my heart—I knew right then and there that I had to meet this guy.

In the video, he’s so commanding, so undeniably sexy, I swear I can almost feel the heat through the screen. His words were sharp and confident—he was passionate, and so was I.

So, naturally, I jumped into his DMs. A few flirty messages later, and within a week I found myself bumping into him in a trendy Chelsea bar. Three piece set. Perfect hairstyle. This man is on another level.

He picked the bar and was in charge from the get-go – which, my friends, was my first clue that I was dealing with a total big shot. Here’s what I’ve learned about dating these types of New York men:

• They market themselves like a business. Forget talking about the weather at dinner – within an hour I knew everything about his vasectomy, how much money he made, his weekend home upstate, and yes, even his… …um…big penis. No joke. He threw the last bit in so casually I almost choked on my martini. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I had to deal with the smoothest sales pitch I’ve ever heard. These men don’t just seduce you; They’ll talk you into getting laid – and they’re very good at it.
• He will keep you “reading” for hours. Like the billionaires he works with, his personal life runs strictly outside of work hours. And don’t think his calendar is flexible. If you’re dating a “big shot,” you’re dating the busiest man in New York.
• He barely lets you get a word in. Arrogant people need their own space to shine. Sure, he might throw a question at you now and then, but before you know it, he’s effortlessly steering the conversation back to himself. Isn’t it a bit narcissistic? perhaps. But this also leads me to my next point…
• His grand move? A cover for your fragile ego. It’s only after you leave the date that you can start to get a clearer idea of ​​how much reassurance he really needs (usually via text).
• Get ready for the 4am wake-up call. His day starts at the gym at 4am, breakfast at 5am, and meetings with billionaires and millionaires at 6am. No wonder this guy is so busy – it’s a 24/7 grind.
• He was always ranked No. 1 throughout his career. If you want to date someone like this, you have to accept being second. And, honestly? I totally agree.

At the end of this whirlwind relationship, I had to ask myself: Do I want to be with him? Or do I want to be him?

He commands every conversation, takes charge of every situation and exudes boss energy – which is kind of… inspiring. I started to realize that if I wanted to compete with the big boys, I had to start thinking and acting like the big boys.

Suddenly, I found myself setting my alarm for 4am to conquer the day, because, hey, if it works for Mr. Big, it works for me, right?

Despite once thinking that Aidan, the guy Carrie Bradshaw ended up meeting on “This Is It,” was the one for me, here I was – shocked to find that it was actually the one I was looking for. A great gentleman. Who knows?

If you’re also looking for your own big shot, I’ve instilled in you some key lessons that will help you catch such a man:

1. Do your research

The key to unlocking the big shot? his ego. I quoted something he said on the podcast, and he literally stopped mid-sentence and said, “Wow, I’m with a beautiful woman, quoting something I said to me. Gotta love that!” Prosperity. that’s all. Guys like him love to be admired for his knowledge, so do a little homework, stroke his ego, and watch him melt.

2. Look feminine and feminine

Mr. Big Men like their women to look submissive (keyword: seem). These people are like cavemen, they love to provide. Allow yourself to lean toward your feminine side and let him sit on his masculine side. Wear perfume, have your hair and makeup done just right, and let him dominate the conversation. Trust me, it’s like flipping a switch.

3. Let him shine

Ask him about his work, achievements and latest big stories. Mr. Big Shot is extremely proud of what they have accomplished. When you show genuine interest in his success—and yes, show some admiration—his confidence will be through the roof. Guess what? This makes him more interested in you.

Now I understand why Carrie was so angry at men like this in all these seasons. Once you experience a big shot, it’s hard to settle for anything else. So, while you may think your ideal man is a sweet, sensitive artist or a charming, stable type, you may find that what you really desire is something bigger in your life. Trust me, once you get a taste of this power, nothing can compare. Damn it.