Why how you fight is more important than why you fight

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Here is another article about the importance of being friendly when you and your wife argue.

The truth is, how you fight is far more important than why you fight. The way you argue can destroy a marriage; I’ve seen this happen more than once. Even if most arguments are resolved to both parties’ satisfaction, destructive arguments can erode a marriage in ways that are difficult to repair.

Sometimes, when Lori and I are working with a couple, the way they argue is so harmful that we try to resolve the issue without discussing what they are arguing about. This can be difficult to convince because we are often passionate about the issues we argue about.

If you and your wife argue in a destructive way, think of this as a bigger problem than the issue you’re arguing about. If you can learn to argue in a respectful, harmless way, you’ll be better able to deal with real issues.

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