If you want to keep a secret, you have to keep it from yourself as well.
As active sex and porn addicts, our entire lives revolve around sexual fantasies and the behaviors that go with them. We spend a significant amount of time thinking about, planning, pursuing, and engaging in sexual activities (with ourselves and/or others). Sex becomes an obsession to the point where important relationships (spouse, children, parents, friends, etc.), interests (exercise, hobbies, creativity, etc.), and responsibilities (work, finances, parenting, etc.) are neglected. Over time, our behaviors escalate to the point where they violate our personal values and moral compulsions, which both creates and exacerbates the shame of our addiction. And because we feel so much shame about our behavior, we find ourselves leading a double life, hiding our sexual urges from family, friends, and others.
Today’s Task
Identify three secrets you keep about your sex life. Share these secrets in therapy or a 12-step meeting.