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What is aftercare? Do I need it?
Whether you’re horny or not, taking care of each other is a must. From cuddles and spas to Savlon and pillow talk, read on to learn about after-sex care and how it can improve your sex life.
Just like stretching after a workout or soaking up the sun at the beach, it’s important to take care of yourself and your partner after sex. Sex dungeon optional.
What is “aftercare”?
You may have done aftercare in your “normal” sex life without even realizing it. Did you hug them and ask them how they liked it? Did you bring them a glass of water or a flannel to clean them up? Congratulations, that’s aftercare, end of blog.
In simple terms, Aftercare is the physical and emotional tasks you and your partner perform after sex or other BDSM activities to make sure you both feel okay.It’s not exclusive to kinky couples, but between the physical pain and overwhelming stimulation, it’s the basis of the fetish and essential to a healthy bondage dynamic.
Why is it important?
After doing this, your partner immediately rolls over or starts scrolling through Instagram. How do you feel? Hurt? Taken advantage of? If any of this sounds familiar, you already know it. Follow-up care.
In a BDSM scene, these feelings can be exaggerated. When you Know None of the injuries involved threaten your safety, and your instincts may not agree. Even with consent, there’s no way to stop the adrenaline rush that comes from blurring the line between pleasure and pain.
Aftercare can help you recover emotionally and physically and relieve the lows that may follow. It can also help you readjust to “normal” if you’re not dominant/submissive outside of the bedroom.
Who needs follow-up care?
EveryoneEven the Dominant is not immune to this situation. The submissive bears the brunt of impact play or the emotional damage caused by voluntary humiliation. A drop in endorphins can make victims feel tired, vulnerable, or confused.. This is called a “sub drop”.
As the feel-good hormones wear off, Doms may experience a similar condition called “top drop,” where they become irritable or exhausted. There is also “dominant guilt,” where the dominant partner feels guilty for hurting their partner and needs reassurance that they haven’t gone too far. People who are not dominant outside of the bedroom may feel this more than sadists in life. Not hurting others is something we are taught from a young age, so going against that, especially in a relationship, can be difficult.
How do I provide follow-up care?
Everyone’s aftercare needs are different. In general, There are two types of aftercare: physical care and emotional careDon’t worry; through practice and discussing expectations with your playmates, you’ll learn what you want. The first step is always to ask for it!
If you are new to BDSM A simple starting point is to provide water and snacks afterwardsYou should also offer to apply cream to the person being spanked, or massage the bound wrists – depending on the type of kink you practice. Other examples include:
- Wrapped tightly in a blanket
- Hug together
- Watch a movie or a “comfort show”
- Take a bath or shower
- Solitude
- Review the meeting together
There’s also the practical side of cleaning up toys and clutter or changing the sheets. Some people will wait until they are well enough to sleep, while others will jump out of bed to avoid lying in a wet area!
Final Thoughts
So remember, there’s no single way to do aftercare. By incorporating aftercare into your relationship (whether BDSM or otherwise), you can deepen trust and improve communication, creating a safe environment to explore your desires.
And, frankly, anyone who objects to follow-up care is probably not a very good partner.
