Women should bear most of the responsibility for their own fake behavior

Not long ago, I was woken up in the middle of the night by something poking me from behind.

I was pleased to find out that this was from a horny male friend who decided that midnight was the perfect time to get in some masturbation during our sexy slumber party.

I was initially a little annoyed when I realized I was also being woken up at inopportune times, but that feeling quickly faded.

So, stripping off my sexy pajamas (which I only wear when I have male visitors), we set off.

Everything was great, but the hours were ticking by and I realized I had to be up for work in a few hours, so I didn’t mind getting a little extra sleep.

So I awakened my inner Meg Ryan (you know the one…) during that scene in “When Harry Met Sally” and gave the most climactic performance of my life.

Give this girl an Oscar because my male friends thought I had an orgasm.

The truth is, I hadn’t. Not even close. But I needed this to be over, so I faked an orgasm.

I have a confession to make: I’ve done this more than once.

So recently, while having a playful conversation with my girlfriends about how incompetent some men are in bed and how they always leave us unsatisfied, I came to a perhaps slightly controversial realization – that we are to blame for this.

Yes ladies, we should be ashamed because all this fakery is hurting us and our men.

Recent studies have shown that 70% of women have faked orgasms, and it’s time we put an end to this phenomenon.

Let’s be honest, we don’t pretend for our own fun. We pretend because we don’t want to hurt fragile male egos. Or just because we’re bored. Or because it’s too time-consuming.

But what we’re really doing is making these guys’ sex lives worse, not better.

So what is the solution? We can’t just pretend, we need to give them active guidance.

We shouldn’t let them believe that we’re impressed by their tireless efforts, and dare I say it, we need to hold ourselves accountable to stop encouraging poor performance.

Maybe we can try to clearly communicate what exactly drives us crazy in bed.

A simple suggestion like “Let’s try this move” or “How about we slow down a bit” can turn a lackluster meeting into a fun time for everyone.

In fact, anyone who has experienced the power of a vibrator knows that it is actually very easy to orgasm. We just need to teach our men how to make us orgasm.

Just like a gadget in our hands, we have to guide people in the right direction.

Because let’s be honest, faking an orgasm is a bit like awarding someone a Michelin star because they microwaved a frozen pizza — fake praise only promotes mediocrity.

Here’s another plot twist. Laurie Mintz, a psychology professor at the University of Florida, says it takes women four minutes to orgasm, so can we stop saying the problem is that we take too long to orgasm?

Anyone who has used their favorite buzzing device before their alarm goes off in the morning will know that this statistic is very true.

Ultimately, by faking an orgasm, we’re telling ourselves that a man’s pleasure is more important than our own, and in 2024, ladies, we can’t think that way anymore.

Let me put it this way.

Football players would never get mad at their coach for giving them tips on how to improve their game. Golfers would never get mad at Tiger Woods for stopping to give them some advice on how to improve their swing.

So why do we stress over coaching them on how to give us a big O?

After all, it’s our bodies and we know them better than anyone else. So, instead of expecting them to know what to do right away, let’s teach them.

Let’s hope for a world with more orgasms.