Strapping 101: A Beginner’s Guide to Strap-Ons | Sex Toys

Curious about strap-ons, huh? Well, you’ve come to the right place. If this is your first foray into the world of wearable strap-ons, congratulations and welcome!

First of all

Before we get too far, let’s get one thing straight (or rather queer – dildo doesn’t discriminate): Strap-on play and pegging fantasies are extremely common across all genders and sexual orientations.

Pegging: A sexual practice in which a person puts on a portable dildo and penetrates their partner.

In common parlance, pegging generally refers to a cis woman anally penetrating a cis male partner. But let’s call an asshole an asshole, shall we? Your anus exists and functions independently of any notion of sex, gender, or sexual orientation. And while it may still be considered taboo by many, putting something in it because it feels good certainly won’t change who you are.

It’s normal to have a little anxiety about trying something new. I can assure you that wanting to explore this particular new thing is also completely normal—one of the most common refrains we hear from people shopping in the BBoutique is the fear that getting attached to this fantasy will be weird or somehow unacceptable.

Strap-ons can be used by anyone, on anyone. No matter what you’re wearing, who you’re inside, or who you want to fuck, strap-on play is a great way to explore the intimacy of giving and receiving with a partner. All you need is consent—and lots of lube!

Let’s talk about the hardware

As with any sex toy, there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Since bodies and preferences are very different, the best choice for you will always be personal.

From harness style to dildo selection, the options and combinations are virtually endless! It can be daunting, but we all have to start somewhere to get to the bottom of things.

The harness

There are two main ways to wear a strap-on toy: with or without a harness.

1. Strap-on dildos with harness

These require a harness to attach the dildo to your body. This is a two-piece system where the harness and dildo are selected separately, although you can find beginner harness sets that sell the harness and dildo together.

To find the harness that will best fit you and your needs, simply start by trying them on. Once you find one that fits, you can better tailor the experience for both the wearer and the receiver.

Jock and thong harnesses are among the most popular and particularly suitable for beginners as they are adjustable to fit the widest range of body shapes and sizes.

THE 3 strap jock style wraps around the waist and legs and leaves the wearer exposed for added stimulation, while the 2-strap thong style has a strap that wraps around the waist and another that nestles between the legs. This covers the crotch area but can provide some nice stimulation to the wearer, as well as offering the ability to tuck in a little ball Or panties atmosphere here for more punch.

With a corset-style harness, you sacrifice some adjustability for better hip support. Additionally, the increasingly popular undergarment style removes the mechanics of straps and requires a more precise fit since they cannot be adjusted.

Whichever you choose, you want to be comfortable while ensuring a perfect fit to maximize control of the fake penis during use and maintain your confidence. I highly recommend a simple and inexpensive adjustable 3 strap harness as the most economical and versatile place to start.

These toys do not require a harness. One end of the toy is designed to be inserted into the wearer’s vagina and is held in place by the muscles of the vagina and pelvic floor.

They are popular for their aesthetics and because they can increase intimate connection with a partner because there is less skin-to-skin contact. Some strapless strap-ons are designed to vibrate, also providing stimulation to the wearer.

The tradeoff here is that the learning curve is much higher, the available positions are limited to the strength of your Kegel muscles, and the worst case scenario is that the toy might never work properly for the wearer’s body.

The dildo

There are a few things to consider when choosing your plastic hammer.

1. Shape and size: The ideal size of dildo is unique to the person using it. Some people prefer an ultra-realistic look, while others feel empowered by something sleek, bright purple, sparkly, or downright mythical. The comfort level of the receiving partner is especially important here; we always recommend discussing your preferences with your partner before making a purchase.

2. Material: Dildos come in a range of different materials. Our top picks are silicone, metal, and glass, as they are non-porous, making them the most body-safe, versatile, and easy to clean and maintain.

3. Dildo-harness compatibility: Not all dildos are designed to be worn. You need a dildo with a flared base to attach it to your harness – suction cup dildos work great for this too! Before you finalize your selection, make sure it will fit in your harness. Many harnesses come with different sized O-rings to accommodate a wider range of toy sizes.

Browse our selection of strap-on dildos here.

Lube, lube, lube and more lube.

Sometimes the purpose is simply aesthetic, as the wearer can explore and enhance their self-image. But if you’re putting it inside someone, you need LUBRICANT.

It’s up to you whether you use it or not, but we always recommend having it on hand, as lube makes everything better, even if you’re already aroused. That said, it’s absolutely necessary for anal play, as the anus is not self-lubricating. And no, saliva is not a suitable substitute.

Choosing a lubricant depends on two factors: the material of your dildo and your personal preference. When in doubt, a good water based lubricant is your best choice because they are safe to use with any toy and condom. A silicone based lubricant lasts longer but is not recommended with silicone toys as it may affect the longevity of your toy. Oils and oil-based lubes last longer but can be the most difficult to clean up and cannot be used with latex condoms.

Practice and patience

Try it on to get used to wearing it. It will be difficult at first and will take some practice to put it on and get it in the right place, just like using it with a partner.

Now go look in the mirror. Admire yourself. Damn, babe! Look at how badass you look, how good you feel, and how badass you really are. That synthetic penis may not be part of your body, but you might be surprised at how much it shifts the seat of your personal pleasure power. Rejoice in that.

How a strap-on is worn, who wears it, and why they want to use it can vary, but a strap-on is typically worn for the purpose of penetrating a partner. This penetration can be vaginal, anal, or oral. (Don’t knock oral sex with a dildo until you’ve tried it.)

Even if you’re familiar with penises, there’s going to be a learning curve here. Unlike a natural appendage, there’s no tactile feedback to rely on, so it’s important to keep the lines of communication between you and your partner wide open. Take it slow, use lube liberally, and don’t be afraid to get creative to find the angles that work and feel best for you.

Pro tip: Doggy style is a great place to start when learning how to line everything up for penetration. It gives the wearer a great vantage point and the receiver a solid base to breathe from.

Breathe and be patient with yourself. It will take a few tries to get there, and that’s where all the fun lies!

Cleaning and other considerations

1. Clean your toy before and after each use. Use warm water and a mild, unscented antibacterial soap or wipe it down with a toy safe cleanerThen let it air dry on a clean surface or pat it dry with a clean cloth until it is ready to be stored or taken away.

For extra disinfecting every now and then, you can use a 10% bleach solution with standard household bleach and water. Just be sure to rinse well and let dry completely before reusing to avoid skin irritation.

2. Is this toy monogamous or polyamorous? If your dildo is shared with multiple partners, or you plan to alternate between vaginal and anal use, we highly recommend covering it with a condom and following cleaning procedures carefully.

3. Even if the toy is only used on one person, using condoms can make cleanup easier, especially when anal play is on the table.