Dilators 101: A Beginner’s Guide to Using a Vaginal Dilator

Have you ever heard of a vaginal dilator? Many still haven’t, but that’s changing. If you have a history of painful vaginal penetration, whether during sex, at the gynecologist, when using tampons, or during any type of insertion, you may be suffering from a condition called vulvodynia Or vaginismustwo diagnoses that cover a range of symptoms that doctors struggle to understand, even though vulvodynia has an estimated prevalence of 10-28% in women of childbearing age, and approximately 2 out of 1000 women have vaginismus. Gender gaps In medical research, anyone? These numbers are probably much higher, of course, because many women are too ashamed to seek help; those who do are often dismissed or misdiagnosed; and health care providers generally do not keep statistics on the number of women who seek help for vaginal pain. It is completely unacceptable that some women, believing that they can’t to be helped, to resign oneself to Never enter into a sexual relationship. It goes without saying that with this state of mind comes its share of anxiety and depression.

Here’s the good news: More and more women are finding real relief with vaginal dilator therapy.

Although the The causes of vaginal pain can vary widely. The most common causes of vulvodynia are stress, trauma, hormonal imbalances, and cancer treatments. My personal experience with vulvodynia was intimately related to my stress levels (rooted in trauma), which in turn affected my hormones. It’s all connected. An incredible pelvic floor therapist I was lucky enough to meet pointed out something I already knew instinctively, but really needed to hear: When we’re stressed, our pelvic floor muscles are often the first to contract, almost as a protective mechanism. We don’t do it on purpose, it just happens. Too much of this, and you end up with chronic-type pain. This pain can even mimic common vaginal infections, as it did in my case. Miraculously, it was through the use of a set of dilators that I finally regained control of the whole situation and began to feel like myself again.

What is a vaginal dilator?

In simple terms, a vaginal dilator is a hard plastic or silicone device shaped like a phallus (which looks a lot like a dildo) that is used to stretch your vagina. Dilators come in kits that come in different sizes, from small (about the size of a finger) to large (about the size of a dick). I know people have fingers and dicks of all sizes, but you get the idea. Most dilators also have a handle to make them easier to hold. The starting size will depend on how severe your case is. You can start with the smallest dilator in your kit and slowly increase the size over time.

How to use a vaginal dilator

Whether your healthcare provider or pelvic floor therapist has recommended that you try dilator therapy, or you are exploring treatment options independently, it is essential that you learn how make the best use of dilators to improve your tolerance to penetration and slowly but surely eliminate pain.

To get the most out of vaginal dilator therapy, follow these steps:

1. Find a quiet time and place where you can be alone and relax. Relax your pelvic floor muscles and take a few very deep breaths before you begin. If you are not sure you can identify your pelvic floor muscles, this guide I can shed some light on this.

2. Lie down (ideally on a bed) with your knees bent. You can spread your legs in a diamond shape if that feels comfortable. You should not hold or tense any of your limbs. The goal is to relax completely. Support your head and knees with pillows.

3. Start with the largest dilator you feel comfortable inserting (but it’s better to start too small than too small, so be careful). Apply a water-based lubricant or coconut oil to the dilator and your vaginal opening.

4. Insert the dilator slowly and gently. Continue inserting it until you feel slight discomfort or tension. Never force it beyond this point and stop if it hurts.

5. Do a series of Kegel exercises to help relax your pelvic floor muscles, which may help you insert the dilator a little further. If you can’t get it all the way in, don’t worry. You can do it. If you don’t see any improvement over time, talk to your healthcare professional.

6. Gently move the dilator inside your vagina for 5 to 10 minutes (or less, if your tolerance is low). If necessary, pause to add more lubricant. Gently push it in and out to help stretch the length of your vagina. Gently move your dilator from side to side and rotate it in large circles at the back, middle, and opening of your vagina to help stretch the width, or apply sustained pressure as directed by your therapist.

7. Slowly and gently remove the dilator.

Increase in dilator size

When you can comfortably use your dilator for 10-15 minutes and move it in and out about 25 times, you are probably ready to move up a size. This may take longer for some than others, as everyone is different, so be patient with yourself! Don’t rush and know that there is no exact formula or time frame for success.

Dilator therapy

Contrary to popular belief, many vaginas need to be stretched and strengthened, rather than tightening. Vaginal dilator therapy can help keep your vagina elastic (like it’s supposed to be) and prevent it from narrowing too much. How long you should practice vaginal dilator therapy will depend on many factors, but realistically, you should do it for as long as necessary.

While you can begin exploring dilator therapy on your own with an appropriate set of dilators, there is no substitute for seeking out and working with an experienced pelvic floor therapist, as they can work with you to assess your muscle function, perform manual therapy to help reduce your symptoms, assign specific dilator exercises to help you maintain your progress, and generally just serve as a guide and resource when questions or concerns arise, as they do.

Bonus Tips

– More lube is usually a good thing.

– Experiment with different insertion positions and angles to find what works best for you.

– If your dilator becomes less comfortable while you are using it, stop and come back to it.

– In terms of discomfort, anything above 4 out of 10 means you should stop.

– You are in control, so go at your own pace.

– Before and after each use, wash your dilator with lukewarm water and a mild, unscented soap.

– Try our Wellness 4-Piece Vaginal Dilator Kit; it is made of body-safe silicone and is perfect for beginners!

Let’s face it, vaginal pain is no small feat and can make you feel some very dark emotions. But contrary to what you may have heard, there is real hope. You can do this. <3