Talking about what you want in bed can be difficult. But there’s a great tool sexual partners can use to break the ice and dive deeper together: a “would you like” checklist.
This checklist is exactly what it sounds like. It is a commonly used tool in the twist community to facilitate scene conversation and negotiation. But you don’t have to be kinky to use one. These checklists can be used to discuss and negotiate anything from the most vanilla sex activities to the ultra-kinky to invite you to go where you feel most comfortable with your important conversations.
These lists can come in a variety of formats and include a list of all sorts of sexual and intimate activities to consider. Some will offer options such as “Yes” for a definite yes, “No” for definitely not, or “Maybe” if you’re not sure or if there are conditions attached to your interest in that particular activity. “Would You Ever Do It?” Quiz is an easy-to-fill checkbox style. Once you get familiar with these elements, you can even create custom lists tailored specifically to you and your partners.
How to use the “Would You Ever Do It?” questionnaire
Each partner fills out the checklist separately. Once you have checked all your boxes, you compare them with your partner(s) to see where your “yes” are.
If you both say “yes” to the same activity, you can talk more about why you like it or how you like it. If it’s something you haven’t done together yet, you can talk about ways you’d like to introduce it into your everyday lives. When you come across a “maybe,” you can talk about why you’re hesitant to do it or try to better understand your partner’s feelings about it.
A shared “no” is easy. But if one person says “no” and the other says “yes,” that’s a discussion, not a coercion. As always, consent is crucial. Trying to convince someone to give up their “no” or force them to talk about it if they don’t feel comfortable is counterproductive to the respect and communication that these sexual inventory checklists are meant to encourage.
The idea is to have open, honest, ongoing conversations with your partner about your sexual wants, needs, fantasies, and boundaries. Let go of judgment, get a little vulnerable with each other, and see where the conversation takes you.
When to use a checklist
These icebreaker checklists and quizzes are perfect for any occasion. Some of these reasons may include:
– When starting a new sexual relationship, you need to set limits from the start.
– When you want to try something new and you don’t know how to talk about it with your partner
– If you find it awkward to start conversations about sex
– To go further with an old flame
– As a sort of preliminary activity to get your brain excited in anticipation of some more physical time later
– Periodically, as a way to check in with your partner regularly to see how you’re feeling about the things you’re doing together (or what you might be willing to try now!)
Why should you take the “Would You Ever Do It?” quiz?
People always wonder what the key to mind-blowing sex is. And the answer is open and ongoing communication with your partner to ensure that everyone feels completely safe, both emotionally and physically. This level of mutual care and respect allows
That’s why we created the “Would You Ever Do It?” quiz for you. The quiz covers everything from hugs to board game So you’ll have something to discuss when you sit down to compare answers. And we’re already blown away by some of the answers you’ve shared.
One BB told us that using this quiz with her partner took their relationship of over 2 years to a whole new level. “We had a lot of discussions about what we like in bed,” she said, adding that the quiz “brought up different and steamy topics of conversation. I never felt like I was fully able to express my kinks with a partner, but this quiz made it a lot easier and more comfortable.”
We really love seeing this. Our desire is for everyone to have the best, most enjoyable, and fulfilling sex life possible. Simple tools like the Would You Ever Quiz make it easy to practice communicating your intimacy needs and sexual desires with your partner so you can have the best sex possible together.
So what are you waiting for? Take the quiz today and chat to live your best sex lives together.