How to Come Out at Work | Aldult Toys Blog

In June 2020, when the Supreme Court governed that it is now illegal to fire gay, bisexual, or transgender people (in all 50 states!) simply because they are who they are, celebrated the LGBTQ+ community and its allies.

“Just a week ago, an Alabama employee could legally marry her same-sex partner, only to be legally fired the next day for being gay,” said Kelly Dermody, an attorney and chair of the employment practice group at Lieff Cabraser Heimann & Bernstein, LLP.

“This is a sea change in the workplace for millions of LGBTQ workers, and it will undoubtedly influence greater cultural acceptance of LGBTQ people.”

But, as Dermody is quick to point out, “the decision does not apply to small employers and includes exceptions for religious employers.”

While any progress is progress, the reality is that even though discrimination based on gender, race, national origin, etc. has been illegal for many years, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist anymore. So while it’s now legal to come out at work (for some), it’s never easy or simple.

Once you have weighed the risks of coming outthinking particularly about the question of whether your particular work environment will be receptive and positive — you can always decide to come out at work, and congratulations are surely in order!

But also consider the following tips to help you choose the strategy that best suits your needs:

1. Be casual about it

One way to do this is to mention it casually, and as early as possible if you don’t want people to think you’re straight. No big announcement is necessary here. You can choose to drop little hints in conversations. You could try inserting “my wife” or “my girlfriend” into a story you’re telling, or referencing “the woman” you dated who was obsessed with Kathleen Turner.

2. Go organic

If you don’t feel like forcing the conversation, you’re not alone. You can simply wait for the right moment to introduce yourself, especially if you’re a little shy and don’t feel rushed. Maybe the moment you’ve been waiting for happens when your new love sends you flowers to your office, signed card and all. Since coming out at your workplace can be a bit terrifying, a little hesitation is completely normal. If you’re not ready, know that Sometimesthe right opportunity presents itself unexpectedly, and SometimesPeople’s reactions are much more positive and encouraging than you would have imagined.

3. Be demanding

Feeling uncomfortable coming out to everyone? Who can blame you? There’s no shame in that. Instead, you can simply choose who you feel safe to confide in. You can start with coworkers who have already come out, as they may have valuable advice on how to proceed. You can also reach out to coworkers who are known for being LGBTQ+ advocates, even if they aren’t themselves. The most important thing here is to only come out to people you trust completely—and if you’d rather keep it a secret, be sure to tell them not to tell.

4. Rely on others to do it

It’s perfectly legitimate to come out to everyone outside of work, even if you don’t want to have to at work. If you feel that discussing your sexual orientation or gender identity at work has nothing to do with your job and therefore doesn’t matter, you can simply choose not to come out officially. Maybe you don’t care, but if a coworker or employer asks you, you answer honestly. For some, it’s much less painful to come out when asked, rather than coming out yourself. Of course, you don’t have to wait for people to ask you either: you can also tell a trusted coworker or two to help you get the message across.

5. Inform your superiors

For some, coming out through official channels (i.e., telling HR or your boss) feels safer and more controllable. You can start by identifying those in your superiors who are known allies (or perhaps even who have come out themselves). After all, if your coming out elicits negative reactions, an ally in a position of authority may be able to help you navigate the situation. For example, rather than re-explaining your preferred pronouns to every employee you meet, you can instead rely on convenience by asking a trusted employer to do it for you. Similarly, if you’re transitioning, you can formally notify your employer so they can help you update your employee records.

6. Be strong and proud

If your workplace culture is safe and supportive, it might be a good idea to get creative and colorful. After all, there are countless creative ways to come out. Maybe you can reveal yourself by sending out unique e-cards, or maybe you can take advantage of the staff talent show to put on a show where you reveal yourself in song. People might be surprised, but they might also be totally interested.

Bottom line: If you have to wait a little longer to come out at work, that’s totally fine. If you choose to never come out at all, that’s totally fine too. Whatever you do, do it on your own terms. And if/when you do decide to come out at work, remember that there’s really no one-size-fits-all approach. You can do it. <3