It is often said that the older a woman is, the better the wine. Perhaps, this explains why most young men feel a mysterious attraction to older women. If you are one of them, you are probably wondering how to deal with this fascination. How should you flirt with an older woman without appearing to be a pervert or offensive? What are some flirting questions to ask an older woman that won’t embarrass her?

Answering these questions is important if you don’t want to end up on her blacklist. We’re here to provide the answers. In this article, we’ve outlined 11 tips on how to flirt with older women effectively, backed up by actionable and helpful advice from psychologist Nandita Rambhia, M.A. in Psychology, who specializes in CBT, REBT, and couples counseling. Read on to learn how to seduce older women gracefully.

How to Flirt with Older Women – 11 Ways to Make Flirting Look Effortless

So how often do younger men flirt with older women? Well, if we go by recent trends in age-gap relationships, it seems like interactions between older women and younger men are becoming increasingly popular. This Reddit user’s experience offers an interesting insight into why. He said: “Yeah. When I was 18/19 and early 20s I was in a lot of relationships and dated older women in their late 20s and early 30s. They taught me a lot about how to please a woman and communicate. I loved it. Good memories.”

Obviously, there are reasons why younger men are attracted to older women. But do older women like younger men? Well, don’t worry. Older women may have been through a few more summers than you have, but that doesn’t mean they’re far away, young man! You just have to play your cards right, and that includes learning how to flirt with older women tastefully. To help you do that, we’ve put together 11 helpful tips on how to talk to older women with ease:

Related Reading: Dating Older Women: Benefits, Challenges, and Tips for Success

1. Flirt confidently

If you’re wondering how to tell an older woman you want her, confidence is your greatest ally. “Younger men need to look and actually be confident in themselves,” says Nandita. She also shares some actionable tips on how to flirt confidently to get an older woman’s attention:

Don’t be nervous. Take a deep breath to calm your nerves.
Don’t hesitate to ask questions or express your opinions. This reflects a lack of confidence and will prevent you from making a good impression.
Actively listen to her point of view and continue the conversation

You should be confident when flirting with older women

My friend Anita, a 45-year-old professor, started a passionate relationship with a young intern in her 20s a few months ago, and they are still together. When I asked her what attracted her to him, she explained, “I liked his confidence and the way he didn’t even make me feel the age gap when we interacted.”

2. Maintain eye contact

When you’re trying to attract an attractive older woman, or any woman for that matter, steady eye contact is a must. It’s an effective form of nonverbal flirting. It shows that you’re genuinely interested in her and that you’re confident. Nandita advises, “Look at her while you’re talking, but don’t stare at her as this may make her uncomfortable. Learn to balance eye contact.”

That’s how my colleague Bella became attracted to her fitness trainer, who is 10 years younger than she is. Bella, now in her 30s, loved the way the 28-year-old fitness trainer made eye contact with her every time he helped her with a workout. When Bella looked back at him, hinting that she liked what he was doing, the fun began. Soon, he asked her out, and they’ve been dating for a few months.

Related Reading: Older Women Dating – My Office Romance With A Younger Man

3. A charming smile

Wondering how to tell an older woman that you want her? Here’s the secret to mature flirting – an alluring smile. Try it and you’ll never have trouble wooing an older woman. A genuine and affectionate smile is one of the things that attracts women. “Smile while you’re talking or interacting,” says Nandita. “An alluring smile is a great way to establish an intimate or special connection between you two. If you’re lucky, you’ll definitely see signs that an older woman wants you.”

4. Compliment her

If you’re wondering how to strike up a conversation with an attractive older woman with ease, verbal flirting is the answer. Nothing works better in this regard than a sincere, heartfelt compliment. “But compliments should not extend to flattery,” warns Nandita. She adds a few tips on how to compliment an older woman:

Make sure your compliments are genuine
Avoid general compliments like “You look beautiful today!”
Specific compliments, such as “I just love the way you smile,” “I admire that you achieved all your life goals before 40,” or “I love your hair,” can work wonders.

How to Flirt with Older Women — Never mention the age difference when flirting with an older woman

5. Avoid talking about age differences

Yes, you both know there’s an age difference between you, but don’t always focus on it. When you truly love each other, age is just a number. For my friend Rhea, the connection she feels with her younger partner far outweighs any concerns about the age gap.

She felt renewed and more alive than I had seen her in a long time, and that’s because they didn’t navigate their relationship through societal norms and expectations of age gaps between couples. Nandita agreed and shared the following advice on how not to let age differences derail a potential relationship:

Only talk about the age gap if she wants to talk about it
Even if you are talking about it, you can insert a sentence or two
Don’t stress too much about the age factor, because if the two of you get along well and enjoy each other’s company, it shouldn’t be a problem

Related Reading: 15 Reasons Why Younger Men Fall in Love with Older Women

6. Respect each other

When trying to figure out how to talk to an older woman, remember that there is no alternative but to be respectful. Respect and healthy boundaries go a long way toward ensuring that you don’t come off as offensive or too pushy when flirting with an older woman. Remember that an older woman has more life experience than you do, and her emotions may be more mature than yours or completely different. Therefore, it’s vital to proceed with caution. Nandita offers the following mature flirting tips to help you avoid going astray:

Be subtle with your flirting at first. If she responds positively, you can gradually increase the intensity of your flirting.
Avoid using vulgar words, there is nothing cool about it
Avoid lowbrow humor

7. Talk about interesting topics and current events

Most older women enjoy meaningful, deep conversations and are attracted to men who can hold their own opinions and understand the world while discussing complex issues. If you’ve been secretly in love with an older woman and want to make her fall head over heels for you, this mature flirting technique will be of great benefit to you.

“Young men have to demonstrate that they are knowledgeable about a variety of topics and speak passionately about them, whether it’s sports, politics or music,” Nandita says. Also, learn to actively listen to what older women have to say so you can understand what they are going to talk about next. Of course, this may take some effort on your part, but if you are truly interested in the older woman you are courting, it will all be worth it.

8. Inject humor

A great sense of humor always impresses women. And when you’re interacting with older women, humor can work wonders, especially. “Humor needs to be classy, not lame or vulgar. You have to be ready with a witty response,” Nandita says. So, if you want to see signs that an older woman wants you, let your witty side shine. At the same time, don’t try too hard to be funny. Make sure your humor is natural and situational.

How to Talk to Older Women — Older women like chivalry

9. Be chivalrous

Chivalry is often considered an outdated quality that has become extremely rare today. Despite this, many older women appreciate it. If you want to be seen as a potential romantic interest, it’s time to brush up on these gentlemanly manners. Nandita offers some tips for mature flirting with attractive older women:

Open the door before she gets in
Send her flowers
Walk or drive her home after the date
Be polite, not only to her but to everyone else around you.
Do some subtle touches, like gently stroking her arm, to see how she reacts and if she’s in her comfort zone

Related Reading: I am attracted to a younger man who is the opposite of my husband.

Ashley, a single mother from California, is dating a man eight years younger than her. She said: “On our first date, he gave me flowers, stood up to greet me when I walked in, and held the door for me when I left. Who would do that now? From then on, I fell in love with him at first sight.”

10. Maintain texting etiquette

While flirting via text is common these days, you need to make sure your dating texting etiquette is correct. One of the most important rules Nandita talks about when flirting with older women is to avoid using slang and abbreviations in text messages. Also, don’t ask her about her past relationships.

She said: “As an older woman who may not be of your generation, she may not be aware of the latest lingo. This is just a result of the generation gap being highlighted. So, if you want to know how to seduce an older woman via text, avoid using lingo and slang that she may not be used to.”

11. Don’t be too clingy

One of the golden rules of flirting with an older woman is to not be bossy. Nandita advises, “Be independent. Initiate texts and calls. But don’t overdo it.” Being clingy won’t get you anywhere. An older woman is mature and independent, and she expects a certain level of maturity from you, too.

common problem

1. How do older women flirt?

Now that you know how to flirt with an older woman, let’s look at how older women flirt. Most older women tend to flirt in a subtle way. They won’t go out of their way to get your attention, but will flirt with their eyes or smiles. They may also flirt subtly by sending you suggestive text messages.

Chart Tells You That an Older Woman Wants You

So, now that you have mastered the art of flirting with older women, how can you be sure that an older woman is actually desiring your company? How can you make sure you are not misreading the signs? Let’s take a look at a list of signs that an older woman wants you:

Infographic: Signs an Older Woman Wants You — Understanding Signs of Interest in Older Women

Final Thoughts

Older women may be the timeless panacea for younger men. Whether they are teenagers or men in their twenties or thirties, older women seem to appeal to most men because of their sophistication, life experience, and charm. Such relationships with large age gaps are becoming quite common. Do older women like younger men? Well, they definitely like it when men approach them with confidence and respect.

But when it comes to flirting with older women, most men hesitate, fearing that they might end up offending them or messing up. They also often don’t know what flirting questions to ask older women. So, hopefully, with the 11 flirting tips with older women we’ve shared in this article, you’ll soon have time to impress a certain beautiful and classy lady. Good luck!

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11 Ways to Flirt with Older Women