Best Vibrators, According To a Sex Therapist 

Vibrators aren’t new. According to legend, Queen Cleopatra invented the first one around 54 BC by hollowing out a gourd and filling it with bees. Aren’t you glad you can just buy one online? 

Queen Cleopatra’s alleged makeshift vibrator and my favorite toys have something important in common. That is, they both provide external stimulation. More specifically, they stimulate the vulva, which is the external part of a woman’s genitals.

The vulva contains parts that are extremely pleasurable to touch, including the inner lips, the external portion of the clitoris (the hood and glands) and the mons pubis (a mound of tissue above the clitoris). All these parts have erectile tissue, just like the penis.

According to research I conducted and present in my book, Becoming Cliterate, 96% of women say that their most reliable route to orgasm involves external stimulation. Similarly, in her classic book, The Hite Report, Shere Hite found that 98% of women stimulate their external genitals when they pleasure themselves.

Many do so without any other type of stimulation added in, and some also include internal stimulation. Given this, all the vibrators I recommend provide external stimulation, though some include internal as well. 

Recent discoveries explain the importance of external stimulation with vibrators. Research tells us that women who use them have more arousal, more satisfaction, and more orgasms. The effectiveness of vibrators for enhancing sexual pleasure is likely biological. That is, the latest studies find that the vulva (and the penis) contains special corpuscles that respond to vibration!

So, to get those corpuscles buzzing (and those hips rocking), here are my favorite vibrators.

In talking to thousands of women about vibrators that provide exclusively external stimulation (often called clitoral vibrators), I’ve learned that everyone likes something a bit different.

Some (like me!) love vibrators that provide pinpointed clitoral stimulation. Others (like one of my closest friends) like those that cover a larger surface. Yet still, others (like another one of my friends) adores the unique feeling of sonic waves stimulating their clitoris.

I’ve thus categorized them this way. If you aren’t sure what you like, get one in each category and find out. What a fun experiment!

Firm and Pinpointed

The tip is ideal for those who want direct stimulation in a discreet package. It’s easy to pack for a trip or a night out—throw it in your suitcase or purse and it will look like a lipstick container. It’s easy to charge—just screw off the cap and it’s there’s the USB charger. Most important, it is both easy to hold for solo pleasure and fits easily between bodies for partnered play. It’s small and mighty, allowing you to focus the vibrations on the exact spots that arouse you the most.

Many women say that when with a partner, oral sex is one of their favorite activities.  With the ORA 3, you can get that same sensation, plus some. It has a firm moving nub that will give your clitoris the feeling of oral sex yet is even more targeted and intense. It combines the feeling of a moving tongue with a pinpointed clitoral vibrator. What a mind-blowing combination!

Round and Strong

This toy combines ease of holding with the versatility of covering more area. This toy not only stimulates a large portion of your erotic genital tissue, but it has 10 different patterns to explore and savor. And as a bonus, it will not only give you amazing orgasms, but can be used as a back or shoulder massager to relieve everyday tension! In short, it doubles as a tool for sexual satisfaction and stress relief!

Sonic Waves of Pleasure

LELO created a unique technology that provides the clitoris with a sensation different than any other. Instead of traditional vibrations, the SONA 2 Cruise uses gentle, erotic, sonic waves to give you an incredible orgasm from clitoral stimulation. You can hold it above your clitoris for gentle waves of pleasure or you can press it against your clitoris for more intense waves. Many women who use this vibrator speak of it as a special friend with magical powers. 

This magical toy is very similar to the SONA 2 Cruise, with the same sonic waves that can be held above or pressed firmly on your clitoris. But the mouth is wider, making it easier for some to hold above their clitoris to ride the thrilling sonic waves of pleasure. 

External and Internal Combined

While the five toys above give exclusive clitoral stimulation, many women love combining external and internal stimulation.  In fact, in research I present in Becoming Cliterate, 43% of women say this is their preferred route to the Big O!  

If you are a person who loves the combination, my recommendation is either the SORAYA 2 or the ENIGMA Cruise. The former combines a pinpointed clitoral vibrator with an intense G-Spot stimulation, while the latter combines the sonic wave stimulation of the SONA Cruise with a powerful G-Spot stimulator. If you aren’t sure which to try, try out the two types of clitoral vibrators (pinpointed and sonic waves) and then go with the type you like for that—but this time with an external component added!

Toys are fun alone and when used with a partner. You can certainly use any of my recommendations with a partner (e.g., hold the MIA 2 to yourself during intercourse; stimulate yourself with the Sona Cruise while your partner caresses your breasts). However, if your partner has a penis, why not add a toy designed especially for the two of you to use together? 

In one study, men were instructed to use a couple vibrator twice a week for three months and then interviewed. They said that using the toy made them more aware of their partner’s pleasure, which was stimulating for them. They also said the novelty was exciting. Contrary to myths, they reported that the toy enhanced intimacy, since they had to communicate about it. Finally, they said that the vibrations they felt made them more aroused—which makes sense since the penis and the clitoris have the same special corpuscles! 

My favorite couple toy is the TIANI Duo, providing clitoral and penile stimulation at once!

Invest in your pleasure. Buy yourself a LELO sex toy (or two or three) today! It’s the epitome of a gift that keeps giving.