9 Steps to Make Him Crave a Submissive Blowjob

Some blowjobs are good. Others are unforgettable.

Often the difference isn’t the technique… but the energy you put into it.

when you are more inclined to submissive Be energetic and you’ll create a level of intensity that can turn even the simplest act into something exciting for both of you.

In this article, I’ll walk you through nine practical steps to giving a more submissive oral sex. How to invest the energy of surrender, service, and devotion without losing your sense of power and choice.

Let’s dive in!

Clarify what submission means to you and your partner

Before you start trying to give more submissive oral sex, it’s worth slowing down and clarifying what the word “submissive” actually means to both of you.

For some couples, “submission” may mean playful teasing, prolonged eye contact, and expressions of enthusiasm through body language. For others, this might mean verbal affirmation, such as calling him “sir” or making it clear how much you enjoy pleasing him. For others, it may mean adopting specific body postures or rituals to enhance the dynamic.

There is no one-size-fits-all definition. Submission is a spectrum, and what is sexy and exciting to one couple may be embarrassing or off-putting to another. This is why communication is your foundation.

Try the following.

Sit down with your partner and each describe what being “submissive” means to you during oral sex/your sex life in general.

Share what excites you and what disappoints you.

Make note of overlapping desires and highlight anything new or interesting you both want to try.

This way, you don’t assume you’re on the same page but know exactly what works for both of you. Clarifying upfront not only avoids miscommunication but also creates anticipation. You both look forward to trying out a mutually chosen dynamic that will make the experience richer and more passionate for both of you.

Create emotional safety first

Before exploring anything submissive in the bedroom, you need to establish a foundation of trust. This dynamic doesn’t work well in a casual fling or with a brand new partner. Why? Because power exchanges (whether subtle or explicit) enhance the happiness of both parties and Vulnerability.

In an established, committed relationship, you already know each other’s rhythms, cues, and emotional telling. You have time to build confidence in each other’s good intentions. This is important because in a submissive role, you open yourself up to being guided, monitored, and mentored by others in a way that can feel very intimate and sometimes even exposing.

If the relationship does not have this foundation, it is easy to anger the other party. Interesting comments can turn into criticism. A move that is meant to be sexy may actually make people feel uncomfortable. Without emotional safety, experimentation risks breeding insecurity rather than connection.

So, first prepare yourself:

Commit to open, ongoing communication in your relationship.

Practice meeting each other’s needs both inside and outside of sex.

Make sure you’re both ready to explore this territory together.

When emotional safety is prioritized, the submissive role becomes a space of freedom rather than fear. You can let go more completely because you know your partner has your back. That’s what makes this experience both popular and sustainable.

9 Steps to Make Oral Sex Sexier and Submissive

1. Ask for permission first

It’s best to use your words before you make physical contact with his body. Explicitly ask for permission to touch his body, take off his clothes, put him in your mouth, etc.

This does double duty in making your oral sex more submissive, because not only are you letting him guide you, but you can also incorporate submissive oral sex dirty talk into the process.

You can check out my articles about submission dirty talk, oral sex dirty talk, and love dirty talk. Or use some of the following phrases:

– Can I undress you, sir?

– Can I kiss it?

– Does this feel good?

– Can I put you in my mouth now?

– Can I give you a blowjob?

– Are you ready?

2. Make eye contact from below

Whether in foreplay or during a performance, eye contact is a powerful tool.

There are a few things you need to consider when it comes to eye contact.

For some submissive oral sex, you need to give full eye contact. For others, you may want to avoid eye contact entirely (either because you are pretending to be shy or because you are so focused on what you are doing that you close your eyes).

One thing to note though is to make sure you make eye contact when you’re lower than him. For example, you should only make eye contact if his head (the one attached to his neck) is farther from the ground than yours. This is because if you’re on top of him (like he’s lying on his back) and making eye contact, he may start to have more dominant energy, which is the opposite of what you want.

3. A slow and interesting start

When it comes to giving a more submissive blowjob, you need to take…your…time.

Each step may take four times longer than you think.

While he’s still clothed, you can gently stroke his legs, belly, and crotch for a while. Even a few minutes. The more you tease, the more excited he will be to “start” oral sex.

When his pants are off, you can tease him through his underwear. Once his underwear is off, you can still temporarily touch everything but his penis.

Of course, some blowjobs are because you’re so eager to have his penis in your mouth that you can’t control yourself and put him in your mouth right away. But by default, it’s best to build anticipation by going slow.

4. Take off clothes

Another way to make your oral sex more submissive is to get yourself completely naked.

Having you more naked than your man may increase the power imbalance (which you can deliberately play with).

Since your body is more exposed than his, you’re essentially in a more vulnerable position, which makes it even more humbling.

Whether you’re completely naked, wearing some tiny lingerie, or blindfolded or handcuffed (more on that later), your and his nudity is definitely something worth playing with until you find what you both enjoy the most.

5. Seek guidance when doing things

A time-tested strategy for making your oral sex more submissive is to seek oral guidance as you do it.

Whether you think of it as a full-blown experience gap kink (where you pretend you’ve never done this before and need guidance), or just asking for his guidance on the technique/feeling of each moment, is up to you. But it’s fun to play.

In terms of experience gaps, you would say:

– Where do I put this?

– What should I do now?

– Should I touch you here?

For general guidance, you might say:

– Does this feel good?

– Sir, do you want more or less pressure?

– Do you like it when I use so much saliva?

Then again, asking for oral guidance can be a fun and super hot way to incorporate dirty talk while getting your man directly involved.

(Some women bring 3-minute orgasms to men through oral delivery. Want to learn this yourself? Click here to learn about each The blowjob queen knows. )

6. Keep it messy

There are few men out there who don’t want a blowjob to be super messy. Like, the more saliva the better!

Let the saliva drip down his cock and onto your chin. Let the saliva flow until he can feel it dripping from his scrotum. If he has a noticeable wet spot down there when you’re done, you’ve done a good job.

What makes things even better is not just the saliva feeling, but also a “she enjoyed giving me a blowjob so much that she forgot or didn’t have time to swallow her saliva” feeling.

Neatness, tidiness, and conservatism tend not to inspire the highest states of passion. But letting the saliva flow unchecked made things get a little out of control and a mess, indeed. So when in doubt, lean toward adequate humidity.

7. Play with location and location

Different positions and locations can also make oral sex more submissive.

You can see a full list of different oral sex positions and places in these articles (Sexiest Oral Sex Positions, Most Comfortable Oral Sex Positions, Popular Oral Sex Locations), but keep in mind that you can bring a ton of variety to your oral sex just by using these two things alone.

Are you above him or below him in terms of position? Is he standing, sitting or lying down? Are you standing, sitting or lying down? Can you move your hands/arms/legs? Or are your activities restricted?

Regarding location, is there a place where you feel completely comfortable, safe, and relaxed? Is this a new room or location in your home? Is it a place with greater risk?

Over time, you may find your favorite locations and locations. However, having two or three top picks (for each category) and switching between them every now and then for some variety can be very erotic.

8. Trapped

One way to significantly enhance the Dom/Sub dynamic of a submissive oral sex is to tie or restrain in some way.

This might look like:

– Blindfolded

– Tie wrists to each other or to another object (bedpost, etc.)

– Tie feet/ankles/legs together or to something else

The most extreme version involves tying all four of your arms and legs to a four-poster bed so your man can pleasure you with your mouth. Of course, this is not for beginners.

If you and your man like to play with physical and/or sensory limitations to heighten the polarity of the moment, this is not something to sleep with.

9. Finish him the way he wants

When you’re nearing the end of a blowjob, it can be extremely valuable to either already know how he tends to finish, or to ask him (on a time-after-time basis) how he wants it done.

Where and how he chooses to do it is up to both of you…what he ideally wants and what you can do. He can do it in your mouth, on some part of your body, or anywhere else you can think of.

After all those passionate submissive blowjobs (now that’s a word, I invented it), he’ll probably end up with an incredibly powerful orgasm, so get ready!

At the end of your orgasm, you can keep your submissive tone or switch to a more loving, gentle afterglow mode. Be present in the moment and make space for what is to come.

I hope you got a lot out of this article and know that these tips are just the beginning.

Reading about oral sex techniques can only get you so far. Click here to get the secret ingredient that turns even a mediocre lover into an absolute blowjob queen.

Committed to your success,

Jordan

poetry. If you liked this article, you’ll also like to check out:

– The Blowjob Queen (powerful video course for women on how to give him the best blowjob of his life, guaranteed)

– Bring Him to God: Advanced Masturbation Techniques for Women

– Submission Dirty Words: 171 Sexy Things to Say to Him

– Blowjob Dirty Talk: 55 Sexy Things to Say While Giving Headjob

About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15 years, working with over 200 million people around the world. His work has been published in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not coaching one-on-one clients or writing new articles, he can most likely be found reading, chopping firewood, or spending time with his wife on a small island off the west coast of Canada.