9 Reasons to Not Use Dating Apps (Forever)

Despite millions of users using dating apps, nearly 80% of users report feeling tired, frustrated, and not finding meaningful connections.

When dating apps claim to bring people together, some research shows that they often do the opposite – leading to higher anxiety rates, lower self-esteem, and a distorted view of the relationship.

Also, I will name this post in advance the bias.

This article is not applicable to everyone. This is the type of people who are primarily inclined to work for me. That is, those intentional, high-quality capturers are seeking an unusually healthy, consistent, nourishing intimacy.

I know many people find good relationships using dating apps. And I also know that many people despise online dating and online apps, and the average “lead quality” to be found. This piece is suitable for those people.

9 Reasons to Never Use Dating Apps

1. Projection wide net = watering choice

A person who serves them (like my clients) is wasting a lot of time simply because finding the default in a dating app doesn’t live together in the same way.

Can you find amazing people through the dating app? certainly. Just like you find amazing hidden gems at the flea market. But that doesn’t mean spending 10 hours a week at the flea market is an effective use of your time.

Indeed, jumping on the most convenient trends in society will expose you to a larger dating pool, but what you really optimize is – total volumes?

Better than shallow choices compared to the quality of depth and consistency.

2. This is a horrible thing to attract souls

Anyone who has spent more than two hours on any dating app knows it is not fun.

Of course, maybe this is the first time you do it is exciting. But it quickly became inhumane. You think people are products. Dissatisfied with this? The next one is sliding.

3. Dating apps are creating anxiety

Put down your phone after sliding and stinging, feeling like you’ve just spit out of a CR foot time machine, which makes you feel like you haven’t had a shower or brush your teeth in a week? Of course, we all have it.

Not only is the process of swiping hundreds of potential partners (hi, decision fatigue), but it also allows you to view relationships in a more opportunistic and emotional way.

See you immediately feel attracted to IRL with thin people editing profile pictures and awkward experience chatting through text.

4. No social censorship

When you participate in online dating or dating apps, you are much more likely to match someone you don’t overlap with.

If you can’t check with your mutual friends whether they are psychologically stable/healthy/kind/not an axe murderer, you may be at a greater risk of negative relationship outcomes.

5. Inability to punish bad behavior

Similarly, the social consequences of the people you interact with for potentially undesirable behaviors are lower due to no social circle overlap. This is an important driving force for why things like “ghosts” are so common.

If you have close mutual friends or social overlap in general, then your dates are reluctant to behave badly.

6. Choose Connection Culture

When you select a dating app, you select the default dating narrative. This includes sticky tendrils connecting cultures.

People are not products. They are not only a collection of body parts.

Most of you are looking for sexual behavior or low commitment to people with the opposite goal of your healthy, nourishing relationship.

Why search for needles in haystacks when you have the option to avoid covering with hay first?

7. Surface behavior leads to surface results

Only 2% have IQs of more than 130 or above.

More than 40% of Americans (using the highest tinder usage) are obese.

The average savings for people are less than $10,000.

If you spend most of your time with most people, you will get the results that most people get.

If you are a person of high quality and high standards that should be, it is not a reason to seek out the reasons most people seek their partners.

8. Wasting time can’t feel the nature of someone you feel in person

Hiding online is easy.

You feel like you are really connecting with people online and just discovering that they are a violent narcissist.

Someone might have a charming secondary phone game, but face to face is dead fish.

I even knew someone who had an hour-long phone date with someone I met online and just had that person beat illegal drugs off on their first date and then started doing it in front of them.

You can waste countless hours of time, seemingly promising dates, just let it collapse in real life because it doesn’t exist.

Does dating IRL only bring the perfect partner to you? Of course not. However, with more organic alternatives, you will often bring you a higher level of qualified, consistent person.

9. Higher alignment partners through real-life methods

Yes, the following approach takes more effort than downloading the app only. and? The people you meet, getting married and spending your life is the most important decision you make. Therefore, it is worth your efforts. It’s not about cutting off the corner.

If you’ve gotten into a very close match with someone seriously, I highly recommend you give up on the dating app and tend toward the following:

– Build a happy single life that nourishes the whole so that you can enjoy real happiness everywhere (become a beacon for people who resonate with you with your core)

– Tell your closest friends and/or family that you are willing to introduce them to people and they can see that you are suitable

– Engage in a large number of face-to-face, group-based hobbies

– More leave your home and go to your favorite places (hobbies, go to the gym, meet friends in public, go to the grocery store, etc.)

Simple? Yes. Simple? not necessarily. Ultimately, it’s worth it.

Looking for signs of quitting smoking?

If you’ve been looking for an innocent app, that’s it.

You are free.

What if they feel exhausted and misplaced? believe.

From the thousands of people I have met (through my extended social circle and my coaching clients), the happiest couples I have met through a combination of work, social circles or friendly hobbies.

Additionally, you will tell the story of “How We Meet” over the years.

Whenever someone asks you how to meet, do you really want to pause each other, look at each other, and admit, “…Tinder.” Or do you want to have a romantic, irl story?

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

PS. If you like this post, you will also like to view the following:

– 6 ways to meet someone without a date online

– “Why am I still single?” 5 reasons + What to do

– Everyone asks the wrong questions when looking for the right partner

– How to know if you are capturing: Quiz

– How to meet your husband in 30 days

About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sexual and relationship coach for more than 15 years and has worked for more than 200 million people worldwide. His works have been published in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Internationalization, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he doesn’t work with one-on-one coaching clients or write new articles, he is most likely to be found reading, cutting wood or spending time with his wife on a small island on the west coast of Canada.