7 Steps to Practice Tantric Masturbation (To Stage)

Most people have heard of tantric sex. It involves practicing the act with a strong, expansive awareness of both yourself and your partner. At its core, Tantra is a set of ancient spiritual practices rooted in Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jain traditions that go back thousands of years. The term “Tantra” is used to describe a wide range of spiritual practices, but in the Western world, we most often use it to describe a sacred, mindful approach to sex and sexual pleasure.

As tantric embodiment coach Maisha Najuma Aza says, tantric sex is “bigger than sex, and it’s bigger than making yourself come or scratching an itch.” When practiced with a partner, it can lead to stronger communication, deeper connection, and a more fulfilling sex life. Carolyn Cowan, a psychosexual and relationship therapist, goes further, noting that while “historically, the traditional path to Tantra was between a man and a woman, [which] It was believed to create a circular flow of energy between man and woman, allowing them to achieve a state of perfect union,” each of us also contains both masculine and feminine energies, which means we can also create this circular flow of energy (a type of union) within ourselves.

What is tantric masturbation?

The core principles of tantric masturbation are slow, delicious, meaningful, and mindful pleasure and self-care. What could be more essential for healing in these difficult times? Just like tantric sex, the goal (anti-) of tantric masturbation is to savor the journey. Think of it as a form of meditation. Just like meditation, the main requirement is to be open to a deeper knowledge of yourself. Another key element of Tantra is that orgasm is not the goal. There is no goal, because exploration is the ultimate goal. In fact, the more you can explore without orgasm, the more energy you will accumulate. If you do eventually achieve orgasm, expect it to be very intense compared to your usual solo sessions. And if you don’t usually orgasm, my advice is to go into it without expectations. The more you can feel each moment without trying to achieve something, the better you will do. Yes, maybe you’ll have an orgasm today – or maybe you’ll have it on your tenth try. It’s all great.

Here’s how to explore tantric masturbation.

1. Clarify your intentions

In case it wasn’t clear, Tantra is about setting intentions rather than achieving goals. Think about what you’d like to get out of your experience, while remaining open to possibilities you haven’t imagined. Your intentions should reflect your needs and desires. For example, maybe you’re trying to find new ways to get aroused, or maybe you want to feel more confident and empowered through masturbation. Maybe you’re just looking to try something new or reduce stress. Maybe you’re looking to break your ties to shame. Just keep in mind that it’s helpful to have a goal in mind, but there’s no pressure to “arrive” anywhere.

2. Prepare the ground

Just as you might create a romantic setting for your partner, show yourself love by creating an environment that is conducive to your exploration. Create a comfortable space that relaxes you. You can place soft cushions, light candles or incense, and listen to calm, sexy, or enchanting music—anything that awakens your senses and promotes serenity. Treat yourself as you would a lover, and you will discover a whole new depth to this idea of ​​self-love.

3. Take the time… to be present

Especially if you have a habit of falling asleep quickly (we call this maintenance masturbation), try setting aside a longer period of time to engage in a longer exploration. Tantric masturbation should never be rushed. The energy you create and harness through (literally) groping should be the result of setting your own pace. Here’s a revelation for you: Being in your body (rather than your head) and being present in the moment are one and the same. That is, you can’t have one without the other.

4. Breathe

There are no hard and fast rules, but try to breathe consciously, deeply, and fully. Intimacy manager Candice Smith recommends starting with “box breathing,” which is basically four: Inhale for a count of four, hold for four, exhale for four, hold for four. Count only as long as it feels helpful, but if it’s distracting, let it go. Another option is to take long, steady breaths while paying close attention to the sensations the deep breathing creates in your body. Cyclic abdominal breathing can also help: Inhale, letting your belly expand. Then, exhale, drawing your navel in toward your spine. Repeat. Really, it’s best to find what works for you. Check out this guide to tantric breathing techniques for more inspiration.

5. Touch yourself deeply

First rule of thumb: Don’t start with your “poum-poom” right away. Start with your other erogenous zones instead: your ears, breasts, the creases of your elbows, or thighs may be asking for attention. You can also try continuing your cyclical breathing while contracting your pelvic floor muscles with each exhale. Yes, this could be a good way to pleasure yourself. Massage yourself. Finally, go lower if you feel like it. Experiment with your arousal. Tease yourself. If you get too close to orgasm, try stopping and taking it down a notch. Increase it and prolong it. Do it in slow motion. Sex toys are allowed as long as they don’t distract you!

6. Live your happiness

Let go, make sounds without restraint, move as you wish, and cry or laugh as needed. If/when you are ready, yes, you can allow yourself to release freely. Orgasm may not be the goal, but that doesn’t mean you can’t choose to overflow into a climaxing state of mind. To enhance orgasm in such a case, Barbara Carrellas, author ofUrban Tantra: Sacred Sex in the 21st Century“If you feel an orgasm coming, keep breathing. We tend to hold our breath or breathe shallowly when an orgasm is coming, but keep breathing.”

7. Recalibrate with self-love

Whatever you do, whether you reach orgasm or not, don’t masturbate or indulge. This isn’t a one-night stand, you know. After all, there’s no escaping your sweet personality, so you might as well be a courteous lover. You can curl up with yourself or just spend a few more moments alone, breathing, delighting, letting go. Tantric masturbation should be satisfying and pleasurable, but it also has the potential to be a transformative force in your life, especially in your relationship with yourself.

Bottom line: People all over the world are struggling. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, self-love has never been more important. Without love, we have much less to give to others. So, my loves, take some time to be with yourself and see if your inner world emerges just a little bit brighter. I bet it will.