7 relationship tools for married entrepreneurs

You love your spouse. You also like your job.

But sometimes it feels like you are being pulled in the opposite direction.

Where is your marriage fit between marketing, meetings, and (usually self-imposed) deadlines?

The good news is that balancing love and entrepreneurship is not about choosing one, but about having the right tools to make each tool thrive.

Over the past 15 years, I have worked with thousands of entrepreneurs to help them improve their intimacy.

If you’ve ever felt like you didn’t have enough time in the day and your partner, these tools can help.

7 high-leverage relationship tools for entrepreneurs

1. Agree to your shared North Star

In business, it is more likely than their marriage to find themselves asking, “What are we going to create here?”

However, this is one of the most important things you and your spouse can ask each other.

What is the compelling and shared vision you want to achieve together? What is your relationship in the end? What is this about? What services are there?

Do you want to have as many children as possible and raise them into incredible, creative, kind, respectful people?

Are you all committed to living a life of travel and adventure?

Apart from hugging, the company and a fun person who can share the bed with… What is your relationship for?

Although many entrepreneurs have business plans, visual boards or hyphens work lists, they don’t do the same in their marriage.

Sit down with your spouse and agree with the meaning of your North Star.

Then, as long as you make a big (or very few) decision, you can fix it in the light of the North Star, and you will know if this is suitable for the pursuit.

Performing this step alone will save you and your spouse from countless hours of energy exhaustion, unnecessary arguments… and reintegrate you into love, connection and harmony so you can return to changing the world.

2. Identify your key relationships to shoot needles

Once you have determined your relationship with the North Star, the next step is to discover the movement that actually brings the needle toward the target.

How do you do it?

Simple. Just like business.

In your business, when you know what you want to achieve, there are only a few key levers that can help you make progress towards that goal. So, this is your romantic life.

You can identify the key needle by participating in what I call the “Love List.”

You and your partner each take out a piece of paper (or new digital notes on the device) and complete the sentence prompt: “I feel like the most…” and fill in the blanks between 30-50 times.

Once this is done, you can circle /star / dock, excluding all others 5-10 largest.

When you look at these key 5-10 moves, there should be a feeling: “Wow…if my partner always does these things for me every week, I feel like the happiest person in the world.”

You then share your list with each other and everyone will always prioritize these critical needle wear.

Just like if you stop engaging in any advertising or stop satisfying all clients, your business will suffer, so too are these key needles in your marriage.

Determine the 80/20 victory, share insights with your spouse, and do your best to do these things forever.

3. Weekly relationship sign-in

Just like you may have regular meetings with major employees in the business, you should also be on a regular basis with your spouse.

These are not necessarily the sn sub-chat for more than a few hours. Actually, they shouldn’t. You can do a 20-minute check-in every Sunday evening (or any register before starting before work) and produce excellent results.

Set aside time each week to discuss feelings, needs and any relationship issues to maintain strong communication.

Simple tips, such as: “How did you feel this week? Did you want to clear everything with me? Is there any way to help you feel more loved?”, strengthening your relationship will go a long way.

(For more information on weekly relationship check-in, you can view this bonus resource)

4. Weekly schedule check-in

Another thing to put into your weekly calendar is timetable check-in. This becomes very important if you and your spouse both run a business/is self-employed and/or you have children.

Intentionally set aside time to check each other, such as “What are you going to do this week? Do you need more space and separate time, or more time/connection/physical touch? Do you need any of my specific help? ”

Another thing to consider as an entrepreneur is that it is more likely to be a key resource for your business’s continued success. Therefore, it is important to use part of the schedule to invest in yourself regularly.

Are you consciously prioritizing gaming, rest and rejuvenation? Do you have intentional downtime to enjoy yourself and engage in hobbies (even an hour a week)? If not, it is something to review and transfer.

There is always a convenient excuse to last yourself and just keep grinding. But in the end, you can only place yourself on the back burner for so long until your body (or the heart/soul/inner child) has a revolt.

I just called a father of seven operations who run multiple businesses but still have time to do his hobbies and self-care. If he can do it, so can you.

There has never been a lack of resources (time, money, etc.), but rather resourcefulness and priority. If it matters (and it does), you can achieve it.

5. Intentionally switch mode before going home

A common problem I see in many clients is that it is difficult to switch between work and home modes. But don’t worry, there is a solution.

Even if you work in a home office, there is a little meaningful switch between various roles.

Try it: Next time you are going home from get off work (again, even if the work is just your home office under the lobby), take a moment…in the car…before putting your hands on the door handle, wait… … . Say to yourself consciously (in your mind, or speak it out loud), “I’m here now.”

This tiny shift can help you get off workdays and go into parent/spouse/family mode.

And if you want to try the second step, it can help implement physical “costumes change” so that you can move from one character to another. For example, you might remove your tie before entering the house. Or, you might change your clothes completely, put on a T-shirt and sweatpants. Clark Kent transforms phone booths into superman – So what did your role change moment help you move from work roles to family life?

6. There is hard downtime and/or area when the screen disappears

One of the most common consuming marriage mechanisms in our modern era is the infinite relationship many of us have with the screen.

Our screen is our connection with the outside world. They are a great tool for many things. But if they visit us 24/7, they will hinder the quality of our closest relationships.

Discussion You and your partner want to commit to sift through free time so you can connect more deeply in real life.

A good starting point (no screen time) is 1) a weekday after a specific time (5pm, 6pm, etc.), 2) a weekend or two, 3) on the dining table, 4) in the bedroom.

Another way to take willpower out of it is to buy a vacation timer and set it up so that your WiFi router automatically shuts down at some time of the day each day. This way you don’t have to turn it off manually yourself and can act as an environment prompt to turn the screen off at night.

7. Acknowledge (and agree) the season you enter

Another aspect of entrepreneurship can have a negative impact in marriage, which is when you and your spouse don’t explicitly acknowledge which season you are in.

Sometimes, it is inevitable that you will be more active in your career. If it is not resolved, your partner may start assuming that this is what it will look like for the foreseeable future. Here, feelings of neglect, loneliness and disconnect can begin to slowly decay the foundation of your connection.

To combat this, make sure you want to (for example, in a weekly relationship) to acknowledge the season you enter.

– “I’m in push mode for the next small part, so there’s probably less Y hours from X hours to weekdays. I hope this will last for the next 3-4 months. I need to continue feeling from me Contact? ”

– “Sleep deprivation from our youngest people has really cost me, and I know we haven’t done much sex lately. What can I do to make sure you get enough touch?”

– “Last year was really hard for me and I feel like I’m still recovering from it. I know you’re busy too, but in the next few months, if you can help me with X, Y and Z, that’s for me It means a lot.”

By naming the elephants in the room and constantly working to ensure you are on the same page, you will save yourself from countless hours of unnecessary tension or misplaced arguments.

Balance your work and love for entrepreneurs

When you are self-employed/business owners, balancing work and love can bring unique barriers. With a little forward-looking and proactive effort, you can maintain your marriage to ensure it thrive.

Desperate to win quickly? Mainly focus on tips 1, 2 and 6.

Nothing actively caught fire (in your work or relationship)? Mainly focus on tips 1, 3 and 4.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

PS. If you like this post, you will also like to check out:

– 1-on-1 coach with Jordan

– The best type of partners for entrepreneurs

– Benefits of Entrepreneur/Entrepreneur Relations

– 5 Ways Busy Entrepreneurs Can Stay Energetic in Your Relationships

About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sexual and relationship coach for more than 15 years and has worked for more than 200 million people worldwide. His works have been published in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Internationalization, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he doesn’t work with one-on-one coaching clients or write new articles, he’ll likely find him studying on an island near the West Coast of Canada, cutting wood or spending time with his wife.