5 Ways to Overcome It

Lesbian bed death

Lesbian bed deadness can affect long-term relationships, reducing intimacy and passion. This article offers five strategies to overcome it. Improve communication, renew your daily routine, and strengthen your emotional bond.

I felt the enthusiasm and moved in quickly

Packing all your stuff into a U-Haul and moving into a new home after just 3 months is perhaps the greatest tradition in lesbian civilization. Alas, this wasn’t just a great joke after the first same-sex date, followed by a wink and a shove – I too made the mistake of conforming to the “stereotype” and packing up all my stuff and moving into a new home with my partner after just a few months.

The beginning of the relationship is passionate, exciting, and spontaneous. You find yourself having sex everywhere and at all times – you need it.

What is lesbian bed death?

It’s important for you to know that I’m not saying this is the end of the world, and I’m certainly not saying you’ll never have passionate, exciting, spontaneous sex again, trust me! I do know, though, that once you start to get into this groove, the pressure to have great sex can seem endless, and paradoxically, while you want to fix this, the pressure to do so can lead to less sex or no sex.

Usually by this time you’ve both become aware of each other’s “problems,” but if you feel like your partner doesn’t fully understand, or isn’t struggling as much as you are – then you should definitely start talking about what’s going on.

Here are some other things you can try to stoke that fire:

1. Talk about it.

Does your partner feel the same way?

No: Tell them how you feel. Explain that you feel alienated from them. Assess their reaction and work your way up to a yes answer.

Yes: Discuss what might be causing the lack of desire. Exhaustion? Stress? Scheduling conflicts?

The good news is that all of the above issues can be fixed. You will most likely need to carve out some time for yourself and spend some time with each other. When you’re tired or stressed, it’s common to feel like you don’t have time for yourself. Then add in another person who feels like you don’t have time for them, and it can become very frustrating.

Take some time for yourself. Take a walk, take a shower, brush your hair, wax it; whatever makes you feel good, okay? If you’ve been neglecting yourself, you need to build you Back up first. Now you can focus on filling those holes. Scheduling conflicts? Plan your week together. Get out your diary and make sure you have a few free evenings together and maybe a full day (ideally a whole weekend) to spend together.

2. If having sex for sex’s sake doesn’t arouse you, then don’t have sex for 30 days.

I know I know. You try to wear it, but sometimes give yourself a rest You can reset desire and build some sexual tension by “forcing” sex. This means don’t touch anything that’s normally covered by a bra or underwear, okay!

You’ll need to both agree to this, but it’s a great way to build some “organic” sexual tension.

Try alternative intimate acts. Back/shoulder massages, candlelight baths, or even candlelight dinners and wine. Going a month without sex isn’t meant to alienate you from each other, it’s meant to still allow you to be intimate while subconsciously rekindling that desire.

3. During this 30-day break, try not to discuss sex.

Put the topic aside. Don’t even think about it. Why create more stress than what you’re already experiencing?

4. Bring back date night.

At the beginning of a relationship, we often surprise each other or arrange a night out. your Evening. Bring this back. Don’t invite other people. Do an activity or ideally something where you actually enjoy each other’s company. For example, go bowling, have dinner at a restaurant or try to learn a new skill together, like a cooking class or sculpture class.

If you’re on a budget, kick all your roommates out and do activities together at home or have a game night. Trust me, this is a great and cheap way to reconnect.

5. During a month without sex, adopt a “no criticism policy.”

Stop it! When you are stressed or tired, it is easy to lose your temper with your partner and say something unnecessarily hurtful or critical. This negativity can flare up and it is probably why you are in this situation. I am the worst and if I am having a bad day or feeling down, I blame my partner for the little things like a bitter bitch. Stop it!

Compliment each other. Thank each other for everything they do. “Hey, thanks for cleaning the kitchen” or “Thanks for doing the laundry.” Negativity breeds negativity, and of course, if you flip that around, positivity will only breed positivity.

Lesbian bed death is not the end of your relationship, there are many things you can do to get your relationship back on track. All it takes is a little romance, a date night, and less criticism of each other to get you back to the first passionate days.

Have fun reconnecting!

Started having sex but want to keep going?

Using a variety of sex toys can reignite passion in a long-term relationship. Toys can bring about new sensations and experiences, enhancing intimacy. Trying different toys can inspire creativity and open communication. This sense of novelty can help break up routines, keep passion in a sexual relationship, and effectively overcome lesbian bed death.

About the author: Chloe is Oh District Adult Life Center

Our Marketing Specialist Richard is responsible for Adultsmart’s online presence. He has over 10 years experience in the industry and is passionate about sexual health and lifestyle issues.