45 years of sex therapist reveals why people cheat
It is often believed that cheating is caused by desire, needing verification or drinking too many drinks.
But renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel revealed that after 45 years as a sex therapist, she believes that the main reason people are wandering in relationships is one of the main reasons.
Talk to it telegraphPerel attributes it to the “death” of the relationship, which usually indicates that the partner may begin to develop wandering eyes.
The 66-year-old writer of this highly respected book, Captive Matching: Unlocking Porn Smartand podcasts, Where should we start?said that infidelity has been around since the invention of marriage, and people have wandered for many reasons.
“Sometimes it has to do with this relationship – sometimes it’s rejection, betrayal, disconnection or alienation. Loneliness is great.” “Other times, the reason is intrinsic and has nothing to do with the relationship itself.”
But she stressed that the main reason is “death”, which can happen when a couple’s intimacy “suffocates” their passion.
Or maybe it is their lack of presence that makes their partner no longer care.
She believes that the key to rebuilding a relationship someone is considering or engaging in cheating is “attitude” – which may be triggered by curiosity and what she calls the concept of “differentiation.”
“It means exploring, discovering, actively participating with unknowns and living. It’s a great entry point,” she said.
“It’s about opening up the possibility of not knowing one’s own partner,” she added. “How about being trapped in a comfortable routine, telling a conversation that is beyond the fun things we want to be with each other?
“You know how many people are hanging out with friends, seeing their partner talking about movies, bands or experiences, and then in the car or on the train, they ask ‘Who is picking up Johnny after school?’ or ‘Did you get the groceries? “From there, don’t want to have sex or feel not far.”
Perel also stresses the importance of incorporating “games” into your relationship.
This can involve adventure, sharing interesting stories, creating new rituals or trying different foods.
“It’s to give your partner a chance to meet you in a new light,” she explained.
When asked what maintains a long-term relationship, she stressed that it is crucial not to try to change a partner.
“People often say ‘I hope that things that matter to me are important to you, too,'” she said.
“You can’t make someone exactly like you. You accept your differences and understand that what someone can do for you doesn’t mean to them, and you can do things for your partner even if you’re not interested. You don’t have to change, but you should try to adapt.”

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