Why are people afraid of anal sex?

There is a lot of fear around anal sex, but there is still a lot of curiosity. I was reminded of this idea when a young straight man walked into a store tonight and asked some questions about anal sex – despite the fear, there is still a lot of curiosity about this type of play. What’s more, as we move away from the idea that sex is purely for reproduction and focus on more Sex Positive Attitude Sex is also for pleasure.

This article aims to break down people’s fears about anal sex by first acknowledging those fears, addressing them, and then discussing how to have anal sex in a safe and comfortable manner.

The gross-out factor of anal sex

And then there’s all that shit on the penis. We’ve all heard the story about that one night that so-and-so’s friend had a horrible experience. This fear is pretty universal and it stems from our upbringing. Studies show that when an impressionable kid starts to curiously play with their genitals and is told that it’s a dirty thing – they apparently associate that feeling with their genitals.

Some people grow out of anal sex, some don’t, so whether we admit it or not, a lot of our relationship to sex, sexuality, and our bodies stems from how we were raised and how those around us dealt with sex. Much of our relationship to anal sex is due to the fact that many people associate it with being part of the human excretory system. It’s the way out, not the in, is a commonly used phrase that reinforces this idea. Let’s debunk this lie.

Unless the body is about to excrete waste, or has just excreted waste, it is actually very unlikely that the dreaded “poop on the penis” situation will occur. The anal cavity actually has a very thorough self-cleaning system that works very well. Yes, if you play rough, or you are using a long toy or penis, then there are some risks, but overall, the risks are actually quite small. The more you know, the less risk there is!

The homosexual aspect of anal sex

Anal sex, ass play, has long been considered the preserve of gay men. There are countless “help me” articles in magazines from concerned girlfriends who are worried that their beautiful boy will suddenly become a drag queen because he likes fingering. I’m not quite sure where this started, but anal sex is not just for gay men. It may even surprise you that there are many gay men in the world who don’t like Anal sex.

An article in the Journal of Sexual Health and Medicine studied 25,000 gay and bisexual men and found that more than 75% of participants said their most recent sexual encounter involved oral sex. In contrast, 36% said their most recent sexual encounter involved anal sex. In fact, mutual masturbation, kissing, and genital and vaginal contact were more common among gay men.

As time goes by, this problem is fading. As men become more aware of their bodies, more comfortable with their sexuality, and more open about sex and sexuality, the stigma against anal sex is slowly breaking down. Considering that prostate play is one of the most intense orgasmic experiences a man can feel, Prostate massage is beneficial – then a lot of people miss out on great sex because they think it’s a little gay. The thing is, anal sex is not the same as sex.

Pain Factors in Anal Sex

Anal sex can hurt. When it comes down to it, there are usually a few very specific reasons why it hurts. One of the main reasons is that you think it will hurt. Think about the awkwardness of your first time having sex, how it felt a little painful, and how it was probably over in a matter of minutes. It’s rare that a first time is wonderful, and it’s possible to have a bad experience that taints future experiences with anal sex.

We often find, especially with younger couples, that they may rush their first anal intercourse, which in turn can lead to discomfort. Anal sex is different to other penetrative sex. It requires patience, lubrication, and an awareness that the body may need time to adjust. There are many factors to consider, but the main one is often overlooked – fear. Anxiety. This in turn affects the body’s ability to relax, you tense up, and it hurts.

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Anal sex techniques

Anal sex is not a necessity. You are under no obligation to add it to your sex repertoire, and frankly, the best way to have anal sex is when you want it. The best time to have anal sex is when you want it, when you are curious, when you are relaxed and able to enjoy it. And, if I’m being honest, when you are extremely excited. The combination of these factors will make anal sex a lot easier. Once you get used to it, you’ll find it a lot easier to add it to your daily routine.

Patience. Patience is essential when it comes to anal play. Muscles are involuntary, so they need time to adjust to something that’s not normal. Apply some lube, apply more lube, and breathe.

If you’re really worried about staining, you can use a douche to help you prepare. But follow the instructions on the douche and wait about an hour before having intercourse. Also, don’t use that hour to go to your playmate’s house, because the water needs to dry and could stain your favorite underwear. Douche, wait half an hour, and then get going.

Following these tips will help you ride the pole like a pro.

By Stephen Smith – Bachelor of Social Sciences, Master of Educationsave

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Meet Stephen, a bold and outspoken cisgender gay man advocating for gender equality and sex education. Join him on the Adultsmart blog for his bold insights.