25% of American couples have sex once a month or less, new

New research shows that 25% of American couples have sex only once a month, or even less.

The new poll of 2,000 U.S. adults in a relationship or married found that keeping the spark alive can sometimes be a challenge, as 14 percent of respondents said their sex life was “unsatisfactory.”

However, according to the findings, the couples surveyed performed the act an average of four times a month for 18.6 minutes each time – a total of 15 hours a year.

Gen Z leads the way with the most monthly usage (5.3 times), followed by Millennials (5.1 times).

Although a minority were dissatisfied, 71% said they were satisfied with their sex lives, including 43% who were “very satisfied.”

The survey was commissioned by LELO and conducted by Talker Research as part of a powerful trends report that puts a magnifying glass into the intimate lives of American couples.

The findings found a strong correlation between how behavior outside the bedroom translates into greater satisfaction in the bedroom.

Americans surveyed have an average of 2.4 date nights with their partners per month, and a shocking 27% said they have zero date nights per month.

When the data was broken down by frequency of sex, research showed that couples who hung out together more often tended to be more likely to be in heat in bed.

Among those who said they had sex “very often” (more than eight times a month), the group with the most date nights was 3.5 times a month.

Conversely, Americans surveyed “rarely” have sex (categorized as 0-1 times per month) and have the fewest romantic nights out at 1.2 times per month.

This finding also translates to how often we communicate with our partners through text messages, since according to the data, more frequent texting is associated with more frequent sex.

Those who have sex “often” are also the most likely to say they text their partner “often” (35%).

In contrast, those who said they “rarely” have sex were also the least likely to maintain ongoing text communication with their partner (9%).

“Over the past two decades, our lifestyles have accelerated to dizzying and sometimes overwhelming speeds, exacerbated by our reliance on technology,” said Luka Matutinovic, chief marketing officer at LELO. “As modern lifestyles become increasingly busy, maintaining a satisfying life has never been more important, as it provides individuals with significant physical, emotional and psychological benefits.”

Americans are no strangers to the idea that experimenting can help rekindle a relationship: half of respondents (48%) have tried sex toys in the bedroom, the survey showed.

Gen Z was found to be the generation most likely to try sex toys (61%), followed by Millennials (54%).

Baby boomers, on the other hand, were the least likely, with only 26% saying they had tried sex toys.

For those who have tried it, vibrators (71%) and lube (65%) are the most common additions to intimate moments.

Long distance is no longer a barrier to intimacy: a third of respondents (33%) have sexted with a partner, while 16% have tried FaceTime sex.

Young Americans are paving the way for virtual romance, with 55% of Gen Z Americans saying sexting is common in their relationships and 60% saying they have even shared nude/intimate photos with their partner.

“While there are differences in how individuals and generations achieve this, most people still take the time to focus on intimacy, open communication, savoring feelings, and spending time with themselves and their partners, which makes us feel optimistic about the future,” Matutinovich said. “By focusing on this, individuals can break away from the always-on culture and cultivate a more balanced, fulfilling life — and we’re here to help.”
Access the full trend report here.

Ten life factors that hinder sex life

1. Fatigue 38%
2. Different sexual desires 29%
3. Health problems 29%
4. Work stress 27%
5. Children/child care needs 22%

6. Family responsibility 20%
7. Financial stress 20%
8. Emotional distance 19%
9. Different schedules 18%
10. Technical interference 9%

Research methods:

Talker Research conducted a survey of 2,000 Americans in relationships, split evenly by generation with Internet access (500 Gen Z, 500 Millennials, 500 Gen X, 500 Baby Boomers); commissioned by LELO and administered and conducted online by Talker Research from September 24-30, 2025. A link to the questionnaire can be found here.