11 Signs Of Unsupportive Husband During Pregnancy

Pregnancy can be an exhilarating and, at the same time nerve-wracking, time in a woman’s life. You’re bringing new life into this world, a life you created with the man you love. There is so much to look forward to. Then, there are worries and anxieties about the well-being of your unborn child. Not to mention the grueling physical discomfort. This roller-coaster of excitement, worries, and fear can become even harder to bear when there are signs of unsupportive husband during pregnancy.

As an expecting mother, you need all the love, care, and pampering you can get from the people around you, especially your spouse. When your man fails to step up, you end up feeling alone and unsupported during pregnancy. This can turn one of the most memorable experiences of your life into a nightmare. What should you do in a situation like this? Well, the first order of business is to ascertain that you’re, in fact, dealing with an unsupportive husband.

Given how hormonal changes in the body put you in an emotional tizzy, it’s possible to misinterpret every disappointment or unmet expectation as a sign of an uncaring husband. Just because your husband doesn’t understand pregnancy mood swings every single time doesn’t necessarily mean he is insensitive and unsupportive. Even if he is, there are ways to handle the situation tactfully and mitigate the risk of your relationship falling apart. To that end, let’s look closely at the signs of unsupportive husband during pregnancy and ways to deal with the situation.  

How Pregnancy Affects Relationships

Before we talk about what it means to have an unsupportive husband during pregnancy, it’s important to drive home the fact that this is a transformative experience for both spouses, and it invariably impacts your relationship dynamics. The physical, emotional, and psychological changes are bound to shift how you engage with your partner and vice versa. Some common changes you can expect during this time include:

1. Emotional roller coaster that can strain communication

Pregnancy hormones bring with them a flurry of mood swings, emotional sensitivity, and anxiety. You may feel more insecure and irritable than usual, and this can leave your partner feeling confused as they’re dealing with emotions that may not have been part of your equation before. The resulting emotional turbulence can strain communication between partners.

2. Changes in intimacy

Pregnancy often alters sexual intimacy between a couple. This can be either due to discomfort or anxiety about sexual activity. This can further exacerbate anxieties about your relationship with your spouse, leaving you thinking, “My husband lost interest in me sexually when I got pregnant.” Focusing too much on questions like, “How do you deal with lack of intimacy during pregnancy?”, can lead to you to feel extra pressure about the altered nature of your sexual relationship, resulting in tension between you and your spouse.

Related Reading: Lack Of Affection And Intimacy In A Relationship — 9 Ways It Affects You

3. Increased financial and parental responsibilities

Financial and logistical planning to prepare for the arrival of your baby can also be a source of stress, even more so if you and your spouse aren’t on the same page about expectations or roles or if you haven’t had in-depth discussions about finances, parental responsibilities, and a support system to make your transition into parenthood easier.

4. Shift in relationship dynamics

The focus of your marriage shifts from just the two of you to the arrival of your baby. If your spouse is hyperfocused on the baby’s arrival and can only seem to talk about what to do and not to do when it happens, it can leave you feeling neglected and overwhelmed. And you may find it hard to shake off the thought, “My husband makes me feel alone during pregnancy.” On the other hand, for many couples, pregnancy can deepen emotional intimacy and connection, as they share the anticipation of welcoming a child.

5. Increased anxiety and stress

Of course, worries about health, the future, and the enormous responsibility of parenting can be a cause of stress and anxiety for both partners. If you don’t find a way to share these feelings and support one another through this journey, you may feel distant and disconnected from your spouse.

Related Reading: Solutions To 10 Relationship Problems After Having A Baby

11 Signs Of Unsupportive Husband During Pregnancy

My friend, Elena, struggled with feeling rejected by husband during pregnancy right from the beginning. The nausea, the mood swings, and constant exhaustion made her more irritable by the day, and her husband failed to recognize that all of these changes were par for the course during pregnancy. He responded with irritation and annoyance, leading to constant bickering and fights.

Within weeks, the distance between them grew so much that they barely spoke. Her husband, Greg, spent all his time at home with his face buried in his phone. Restless and unable to sleep one night, Elena decided to check what was keeping Greg so engrossed. To her shock and horror, he was not only stalking his ex on Instagram but had also started DM-ing her. Even though the conversations were harmless, Elena was distraught. There are clear signs he’s cheating during pregnancy, she told me.

Of course, this put a huge strain on their marriage. Even though Elena and Greg are still together, their marriage is now riddled with resentment and trust issues. Greg’s behavior was a peak example of signs of unsupportive husband during pregnancy. While not all husbands may go that far, the following actions may leave you feeling alone and unsupported during pregnancy:

1. He’s not emotionally available

Emotional unavailability can leave you feeling rejected by husband during pregnancy. If he avoids talking about the pregnancy or dealing with the roller-coaster of emotions you’re going through, you may begin to feel as if he has emotionally checked out.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Julie Bindeman says, “Emotional availability during pregnancy is crucial. Without it, feelings of isolation can develop and this can lead to distance between partners. Pregnancy is a time when emotions run high and ignoring their wives’ needs during this time is what husbands should not do during pregnancy. If your husband is not there to offer reassurance or a listening ear, it can leave you feeling alone.

Related Reading: In Love With An Emotionally Unavailable Man? 10 Tips To Connect With Him

2. He dismisses your pregnancy discomfort

Apart from emotional ups and downs, pregnancy also comes with its share of physical discomfort—morning sickness, back pain, swollen feet, heartburn, it’s a wide buffet of distress. If instead of listening to you with empathy, your husband brushes these off as “no big deal”, it’s a sure red flag.

Explaining why this may leave a woman feeling alone and unsupported during pregnancy, psychologist Dr. Sheryl Ziegler says, “Acknowledging physical discomfort is key. Even when there’s nothing a man can do to fix it, simply showing care and understanding helps build emotional closeness.”

3. He doesn’t go with you to doctor’s appointments

One of the irrefutable signs of unsupportive husband during pregnancy is that he keeps finding reasons to skip prenatal visits or appointments. Of course, there can be times when he may not be able to accompany you owing to work commitments or other responsibilities—for example, if you already have a child, your husband may want to stay home and look after him/her if they’re sick or just generally struggling to cope with your pregnancy.

However, if it happens every single time, you may begin to feel like he’s not really invested in this process. This can, in turn, trigger feelings of isolation and loneliness. Why? Penny Simkin, a childbirth educator, explains, “Prenatal visits are about more than just medical updates—they’re opportunities for partners to stay connected and prepare for the baby together.”

4. He leaves all the housework to you

Here’s what husbands should not do during pregnancy—leave it to their wives to manage all domestic chores single-handedly and pick up the slack for them as well. Pregnancy is exhausting, and you need to take it easy. That requires your husband to step up and contribute to the housework more. If he is not doing that and instead expects you to manage all the chores like you used to, it can feel like he’s taking you for granted. If he tops it up with misogynistic statements like, “In the olden days, women used to work in the fields and you can’t manage a house,” you can be sure that he is not only unsupportive but downright insensitive.

Related Reading: How To Redefine Gender Roles In Household Chores

5. He makes no changes to his routine

If your husband is making no effort to adjust his routine to your changing needs and continues to prioritize his work, social life, and hobbies over being there for you, you may end up feeling alone and unsupported during pregnancy. Relationship expert Esther Perel explains, “Pregnancy shifts priorities. When a partner remains self-centered, it creates imbalance and can lead to emotional disconnection.”

6. Lack of intimacy becomes a sore point in your relationship

Pregnancy is bound to bring about a change in the sexual dynamics of a relationship. From physical discomfort to apprehensions about the baby’s well-being, a lot of factors can get in the way of a couple engaging in sexual intercourse during pregnancy. That can be stressful for a relationship.

At this time, both you and your partner need to find an answer to the question: how do you deal with lack of intimacy during pregnancy? There are a lot of ways to feel close and be intimate that don’t involve intercourse. If instead he just complains about his needs not being met or acts grumpy and irritable or picks fights with you, it can not only leave you thinking, “My husband lost interest in me sexually when I got pregnant”, but also make you feel unloved and unsupported.

7. He shows little interest in baby preparations

From setting up the nursery to putting together baby gear, zeroing in on a name to attending Lamaze classes, there is so much to be done before the baby’s arrival. If your husband shows little or no interest in these activities, it signals a lack of enthusiasm, which can be heartbreaking for you as an expecting mother.

8. He complains about the impact of the pregnancy on him

Another one of the telling signs of unsupportive husband during pregnancy is that even though you’re the one going through all the physical changes and enduring emotional and physical discomfort, he is the one who complains about how inconvenient it’s all been for him.

If he complains about how you’re not as active as before or how things have changed between you two, it can make you feel guilty. Explaining why this is not healthy behavior, relationship therapist Dr. Laura Berman says, “Complaining about a partner’s pregnancy limitations reflects a lack of empathy. This is a time for compassion and patience, not self-centered frustrations.”

9. He doesn’t want to talk about parenting

A man who shuts down whenever you try to talk about parenting or what life will look like after the baby arrives is clearly trying to avoid the reality of what’s coming. Whatever his reasons and fears may be, unless he opens up to you about them, this behavior can leave you feeling uncertain about his level of commitment and create anxiety.

Related Reading: My Husband Is Always Angry And Rude To Me

10.  He downplays your fears and anxieties

If, along with shutting down himself, he brushes off your worries about childbirth, being a parent, or the baby’s health, it’s one of the clear signs of unsupportive husband during pregnancy. Phrases like “Don’t worry about it”, “You’re overthinking things”, and “It’s not that big an issue” can lead to a sense of invalidation, which, in turn, makes it hard for you to open up to your husband.

This can compromise effective communication in the relationship. Therapist Dr. Julie Hanks says, “Pregnancy-related fears are real, and dismissing them can harm the emotional bond between partners. A supportive husband listens and provides reassurance.”

11.  He’s short and impatient

As the pregnancy progresses, you’d start moving slower than before, not be able to do the same activities as before, or feel the need to vent about the discomfort you’re experiencing. All of it is natural and understandable when you’re pregnant. But if he gets frustrated or impatient with you, it shows a lack of understanding. Such behavior may leave you ruing, “My husband makes me feel alone during pregnancy.”

7 Ways To Deal With An Unsupportive Husband During Pregnancy

Whether you’re dealing with something as devastating as signs he’s cheating during pregnancy or cannot shake off the “my husband makes me feel alone during pregnancy” thought, it’s important to address the issue of lack of support and involvement proactively rather than letting it fester, waiting for him to see the error of his ways.

Given how emotionally and physically vulnerable you might feel at this time, you need to weigh your words and actions before you let them play out. Don’t let your emotions control your response to your husband’s lack of support. This is a sensitive situation that needs to be handled delicately. These expert-backed tips can help you deal with an unsupportive husband during pregnancy:

1. Communicate your needs clearly

Your partner may not even realize he’s being unsupportive. It’s easy to assume he knows what you’re going through, but pregnancy can be overwhelming for both of you. So, instead of getting bogged down by thoughts like, “My husband doesn’t understand pregnancy mood swings” or “My husband isn’t there for me while I’m pregnant”, sit down and calmly explain what you need from him—whether it’s more help around the house or just listening when you’re anxious.

Renowned psychologist and relationship expert Dr. John Gottman says, “Open communication is the foundation of a strong relationship. Expressing your needs clearly and without blame can help your partner understand how to better support you.”

2. Pick your battles

Not everything needs to be a fight. Pregnancy can make emotions run high, and it’s easy to get upset over every little thing. Try to focus on the issues that truly matter and let the smaller annoyances slide. This helps keep the peace and reduces stress. Psychologist Dr. Sheryl Ziegler notes, “It’s important to prioritize the bigger issues and let go of minor irritations. This doesn’t mean ignoring your feelings, but rather preserving energy for conversations that lead to growth and understanding.”

Related Reading: 9 Things To Do When Every Conversation Turns Into An Argument

3. Involve him in the pregnancy process

Sometimes men feel disconnected from their partners during pregnancy because they aren’t physically experiencing it. Involving him in things like attending doctor’s appointments, helping with baby preparations, or even reading pregnancy books together can help him feel more connected and invested.

4. Ask for practical help

Men tend to respond better to clear, actionable requests rather than vague expressions of frustration. If you feel like your husband isn’t supporting you, and as a result, you’re taking on too much, ask for specific help. Whether it’s asking him to cook dinner or pick up groceries, practical help can relieve some of your stress. Parenting coach Dr. Laura Markham emphasizes, “Clear requests for specific tasks are often better received than emotional complaints. Framing it as teamwork can make him more willing to step up.”

5. Take time for yourselves as a couple

Pregnancy can shift the focus away from your relationship and toward the baby, which may leave both of you feeling disconnected. Make sure you’re still spending quality time together—whether it’s date nights, quiet dinners at home, or just watching a movie. Strengthening your bond will make him more likely to be supportive.

6. Seek outside support

If he’s not being as supportive as you need, it’s okay to lean on friends, family, or even a therapist. Talking to someone you trust can help relieve emotional pressure. Also, having a solid support system beyond your partner can make a huge difference in alleviating your fears and insecurities. Dr. Alexandra Sacks, perinatal psychiatrist, notes, “Building a support network is essential, especially during pregnancy. Don’t hesitate to reach out to others when you need extra emotional or physical help.”

7. Consider counseling together

If the lack of support in the relationship is becoming a significant issue, couples counseling can be a great way to work through it. A therapist can help you both communicate better, understand each other’s needs, and navigate the emotional challenges of pregnancy together. If you feel overwhelmed and need professional help, skilled and experienced mental health experts on Bonbology’s panel are here for you.

Final Thoughts

Support, love, and affection are most crucial during a pregnancy. Noticing signs that indicate a lack of empathy and investment on your spouse’s part can be heartbreaking, and this issue needs to be addressed proactively before it gives away to resentment and other negative feelings. A supportive partnership during this period will not only help you feel cared for but also strengthen your bond for the journey ahead.

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