How to get over first love

Getting over your first love can be very challenging, especially if expectations have been established. Like anything else in life, the first try is often an experimental phase.

It is possible not to succeed, but the resulting pain may be unbearable, but why is this so? After all, aren’t you the first person to encounter failure or difficulty the first time you pursue something?

Many people go through this phase and still survive and are even willing to try more. But you feel like it’s the end of the world and you don’t even want to be comforted or have someone motivate you and promise you that you can do better the next time you try.

In fact, the mention of “follow-up attempts” can scare you. Why is it necessary to try a second time? Why everything doesn’t go as planned the first time.

All of these feelings and thoughts often arise from “overconfidence.” New exploration brings excitement and ecstasy.

Relate it to “relationship.” The experiences seemed similar. Falling in love for the first time can be intoxicating. You just can’t help but indulge in the relationship and your new partner from time to time. With this relationship, there is no expectation of disappointment or betrayal. However, as the saying goes, change is the only constant thing in life. The most exciting relationships may eventually soar, and when it does, you’ll be expected to mourn it and get over it, and the final stages of getting over it are where the challenges begin. Why is it so difficult?

The reason why I can’t forget my first love…

Exceeded expectations——

As explained before, new relationships often come with excitement. This euphoria sometimes makes you forget that nothing lasts forever, it makes you forget that life is unpredictable and you don’t live for the present expecting the worst, but you live for the future and always expect the best. . Fantasizing and expecting the relationship to always be a bed of roses will end up wailing when the opposite is true. When you picture the life you want, it’s hard to get the image out of your mind.

Childish.

Every first experience is nerve-wracking. This naivety is due to lack of experience. You are skeptical about what to expect and therefore may not be prepared for the outcome.

It is often said that experience is the best teacher because the more experience you have, the better equipped and prepared you are to face life’s challenges. With different experiences, one traumatic experience will never overwhelm you because you have definitely been through a lot.

This scenario also applies to first love. It may feel like the end of the world because you haven’t experienced it otherwise. Maybe it just takes determination and time to heal.

Emotional investment.

This is the main reason why people cannot forget their first love. The deeper your feelings for your partner, the harder it seems to be to let go when things don’t go your way.

Time is synonymous with money, and no one wants to spend their time on unproductive activities, which means time spent in the wrong relationship can be mentally draining.

Imagine loving someone wholeheartedly because you think they are your perfect match, while rejecting other potential partners/suitors in the process. Most of the time when a relationship ends, it is so shocking and unbelievable that it leads to heartbreak that takes a long time to heal.

Emotional investment also creates emotional attachment, which is the main problem. First date intimacy is necessary and almost irresistible. When these bonds are formed, it becomes harder to let go. Women are most susceptible to this effect, especially when it comes to intimate relationships. Women associate emotion with intimacy and therefore may find it more difficult than men to let go.

This mainly affects single women (virgins). They have too many expectations when they have sex with a man for the first time, and if those expectations don’t come true, it’s hard to let go.

Self-denial.

After a breakup, what’s the next step? What usually follows is healing and moving on, but unfortunately, after a breakup, most people spend their energy finding ways to get back to their ex rather than developing strategies to heal and move on. This behavior keeps them in their previous relationship.

You can’t move on when you haven’t accepted that the relationship is over.

They’re your first love, and you’ve probably made a lot of plans for your future with them, but that doesn’t mean the relationship is guaranteed to work out. If you want to completely erase the chapters and memories of your ex, you have to accept that the relationship is over. No matter how you feel, don’t expect your thoughts to change.

financial investment

Financial investment is one of the best ways to express commitment and prove that you really want someone in your life. It’s natural to invest where your future is secure. If people just want to hang out with you, they won’t be very invested in your life.

Spending your resources on someone and then being dumped can leave a lingering feeling of heartbreak. And when it comes to first love, many people do more than is required, and that’s because they’re new to it and have never thought about heartbreak.

However, it’s important to note that losing your first love isn’t the end of the world.

Sometimes, our first relationship is a prelude that helps prepare us for subsequent relationships that may ultimately be successful.

Perhaps, a breakup can be a blessing in disguise, but the ecstatic and exciting memories won’t make you realize it. So the next question is, what steps can I take to get over my first crush?

How to get over first love.

Acknowledge that it’s over.

To solve a problem, you must first acknowledge the fact that there is a problem. Stop looking for a way to get back together, accept the reality, and don’t get too excited no matter what you put into the relationship. Free your mind, let go, and your healing process will gradually begin.

Stop seeking revenge.

This advice may sound simple, but it’s not. I understand how frustrating it can be to give your “all” to someone, investing your emotions, resources, and time, not knowing that your efforts will be in vain.

It’s natural to seek revenge, and it’s natural to give them a taste of their own medicine, but all this will do is frustrate you.

The more you seek revenge, the more your progress will stall. No matter how difficult it is, forgive them and let them go.

You forgive them not because you still want them back, but because you want to save your mental health. When you hold a grudge, your mental health is at risk. Karma may happen, but don’t wait, once you decide to let go, your move forward won’t be so difficult.

Open yourself up to new beginnings.

Your ex is now your past, and so is your first love. Holding on to memory means dwelling on the past.

You need to take action now, open yourself up to meeting new people, don’t isolate yourself from others, connect with people online and offline, and who knows, you might meet someone special to fill the vacuum left by your ex , not just to fill a vacuum, but to bring you a permanent and unforgettable feeling of love.

Avoid rebound relationships.

In order to get over your first crush, you must resist the temptation to bounce back into a relationship. I know it’s hard to be alone at this moment and you desperately need someone to fill the vacuum left. This feeling is normal, but it usually ends in frustration because you end up comparing and contrasting between your first love and your rebound. It’s because you’ve never been in love or attracted to them, you’re just trying to fill a void inside of you.

Take your mind off the intimacy of sharing.

This is the most difficult aspect for women who are trying to forget their first love.

The first time wasn’t just for fun. We all long to be with someone special and worthy of us.

It can be painful to have your first sexual experience with a man who ends up breaking your heart. But nonetheless, you resolve not to think about it again. Think of it as one of those experiences in life that prepares you for the next phase. When you are so persistent, you will regret it for the rest of your life. Take this as a lesson and don’t rush into intimacy in the early stages of a relationship until you’ve established who they really are.

Talk to a therapist.

If all other steps fail, this should be the last step to get over your first love. For some, it may be easy to do this alone, while for others, they may need psychological help from a trained professional in the field. If the shadow of your first love begins to linger, you may need help from a therapist. Don’t hesitate to look for one to avoid long-term depression.