10 Myths that ruin the discs of people’s pleasure | Sex

Sex is supposed to feel sticky. Obvious, right? But thanks to generations of strange shame, bad sex and a general fear of the body making the body, paillard Things, most of us have received a bunch of “rules” that kill the atmosphere before our panties touches the ground.

We are talking about myths that sneak into your brain like pop-up advertisements: not invited, a little noisy and disturbing to ignore. They tell you what sex should look like, how much orgasms should feel like your body – and they are discreet (the main ones) ruining the pleasure of people.

This (not) just in: there is no better way to open the way to a much better and more mean sex than to demystify these destructive myths of pleasure. Are we going?

1. Orgasms are the goal.

This is essentially the dog of the sexual tradition. Somewhere along the line, we all fueled the idea that if there is no orgasm, sex did not count. Or has not been “successful”. Or maybe You are the problem. (Spoiler: you are not.) It is understandable where it comes from: the gap of too real orgasm is manifestly unfair.

However, here is the whole truth: pleasure is not a finish line, it is an atmosphere. The orgasms are excellent – Amazing itself – but sex can always be deeply satisfactory without one. The pressure to “play” can really block the very thing you are trying to continue. Focus on connection, sensation and game instead. If the orgasm occurs, great. If not, you can always fully live in your pleasure.

2. Only penetrating sex counts as a “real” sex.

Raise your hand if you have already thought (or if you have been told) that everything that does not imply a penis and a vagina making the old and the entrance is not a “real” sex. Yeah, the same thing.

This myth erases the experiences of queer people, minimizes the importance of other types of intimacy and reduces pleasure to a single physical act. Oral sex, mutual masturbation, using toys together, a sensual massage, an erotic role play –all It is a real sex if it is consensual and pleasant.

Honestly, sometimes a makeup session with visual contact and heavy breathing is warmer than any scenario P-en-V never filmed.

3. If you need lubricant, something is wrong.

No. Not even close.

Lube is not a backup plan – for many, it changes the situation. Bodies are not automatic distributors – you do not insert a quarter (or a compliment) and get instant results. Excitement can be complex, and vaginal humidity (or its absence) does not always correspond to what is happening in the brain or the heart. Hormones, stress, medicines, day of the day, hydration – all this affects natural lubrication.

Using Lube does not mean you are broken. It means you are intelligent. Lube = less friction, more sensation, better orgasms and fewer “OW” moments. Always invite the lubricant to the party.

4. The right sex should be spontaneous.

This myth is like this Rom-Com scene where two people crash on a rainy sidewalk and end up having overwhelming sex in a broom five minutes later. Cute in theory, unrealistic in reality.

Great sex often takes intentionality. This means planning, speaking, preparing and perhaps even put it on the calendar. And that doesn’t make him less sexy – it makes him warmer. Anticipation is the preliminaries. Communication is preliminary. Hell, planning can be preliminary if you do it correctly.

Do not wait for the atmosphere to be clear or time to open up before loving a red carpet. Get it, create it.

5. You should know what you want without exploring.

Ah, the old man “you should just know What excites you “narrative. As desire is wired and perfectly downloadable to puberty. This is not the case.

Exploration is part of the process. It might look like: read eroticism, try a toy for the first time, fantasize, touch on new ways, or even pay attention to this feel well instead of what you think should feel good.

Curiosity is sexy. Give yourself permission to be a pleasure detective.

6. Men are always ready for sex.

He is unfair to everyone.

For men, it creates shame when they are not instantly harsh or interested. For their partners, this creates unrealistic expectations that all men walk on 24/7 erections. In reality, excitement is nuanced for everyone. Truth.

Men can feel pressure, stress, sadness, insecurity – all the things that affect libido and performance. Like any other human. Desire for reflux and flows. Leave it. Normalized men saying: “I’m not in a mood” or “let’s just cuddle tonight”. It’s hot too.

7. You are supposed to look sexy by having sex.

Somewhere along the way, we have absorbed the lie that the pleasure only counts if it is aesthetically pleasant. Picked people who suck the stomach in the middle of orgasm, worrying about the angles or stopping in the middle of the race to repair their hair.

Information flash: Your o-face does not need to be Instagrammable. The big sex is sweaty, messy, noisy, bizarre and sometimes hilarious. This is what makes it real.

Let go sexy and feel sexy instead. It is much more powerful (and much more fun).

8. You cannot use toys with a partner.

FAKE. Using toys does not mean that your partner is not “enough”. This means that you improve the pleasure, try new things and prioritize your orgasm – together.

Vibrators can amplify sensations for both partners. The dildos can help endurance. Portable toys? The chief’s kiss. Toys are tools, not replacements. Consider them as part of your own personal pleasure league.

What if a partner feels intimidated by toys? It is a summons that is worth being. Do not make them shame, but to explore WhyAnd grow together.

9. There is a good way to do it.

The myth of “common sense” is devious. He appears in the “sexual advice” of Cosmo style, in rigid gender roles, in tired scripts on who should initiate and how long he should last.

The truth? There is no good universal way to have sex. There is just your way. And that could change over time. Or day by day. Or depending on the season, the position of mercury or what you had for lunch.

Let go of the script. Follow what feels good. Rewrite your own rules.

10. Sex should be easy if you love yourself.

Can it sound a dirty thing, but what can guess? Love makes not equal reading of mind. Or sexual compatibility. Or instant orgasms.

Even in magnetic and committed relationships, sex takes communication, vulnerability, patience and practice. Sometimes it’s clumsy. Sometimes it’s embarrassing. Sometimes someone cries (and not hot). It’s good. It is actually normal human behavior.

Love helps. But skills, openness and confidence are what maintains a big sex.

Conclusion: These myths are not your fault. But you can Choose to stop believing them. Pleasure is your birth right – it is not supposed to feel like a performance review, a race or a control list. It is a wild and dreamy play area overflowing with magnificent potential.

Here is your permission sheet to unlease the nonsense, explore your desires, ask for what you need and do sex again. Without myth, without shame and teeming with possibility.