Who am I in the kink? Part 1: Main Types | Sexual Therapy

First of all, what is DOM? DOM (or female version Domme) is someone who has power in a BDSM relationship during sexual play or during other agreed periods in a relationship. They only have the power given by their partner’s freedom; they will not seize such power by force or coercion.
DOMS comes in many different styles. None of these are right or just the right way, but rather provide a framework to develop into its own style of domination. You may find yourself fitting many of these styles, not at all, or dominant and submissive styles (covered in Part 2 of the series). These descriptions are a summary of each style and do not include various ways of participating in BDSM as a DOM.

The master/mistress style is the style that comes to mind when individuals usually think of BDSM and is a very large umbrella that includes many different versions. Typically, this DOM style has a lot of control in the scene and outside, and they usually have certain protocols surrounding their relationships/dynamics. Although all dominant styles can and usually do so, the owner/mistress styles that include certain agreements tend to be more stringent in their agreements and their partners.
Some masters/mistresses are considered high protocols, which are elevated and controlled in their relationships. These people tend to have what is called a total power exchange (TPE) relationship, usually a 24/7 arrangement. In these relationships, the DOM controls many, if not all aspects of the partner’s life.
On the other hand, some master/mistress-style DOMS exert a lot of controls within the scene and playback spaces, but with partners there are not as many controls or protocols outside of these spaces. Like many of these styles, there is no single way to do this, and there may be many kinds.

The sadistic style DOM is the most mature person in different types of consensus pain and/or thinking entertainment with a partner. This may include various activities and may include, but does not have to include, physical pain. Examples include shock games, needle pricks, dilemma scenes, humiliation, degeneration, etc. Their domination and practice usually revolve around these types of games, but are often combined with other styles. However, some people consider their primary or only DOM style.

People who primarily like original games or original style scenes may consider themselves a hunter or original DOM. They like the pursuit and satisfaction of chasing their prey. This can be done in human headspace or animal headspace. It can have overlapping pet game features, but the original game and the original DOM are usually distinguished by the actual hunting and attacking aspects of the drama. They use their original nature to emphasize the physical and emotional communication of energy. One thing that makes the original DOM different from other DOMS is that they enjoy and expect their partner’s voluntary resistance. They hope their partner can run, hide, and even fight them. The hunting aspect to the original DOM is as important as it will be next. Similar to sadist, this may be just a part of their overall dominant style, or they can be their only DOM style.

Dad/Mom/Careman Style Doms adopt a more nurturing approach to domination with partner. Their approach is usually softer, but not always stricter than other DOM styles. They love to mentor and provide structure and protection for their partners. Dad/Mom/Careman DOMS does not always adhere to the typical gender title; just like there are female dads, there may be male moms. Many times, this DOM style goes with their partner or “Little” of some age. But, in this style of domination, this is not necessary or always happens. Depending on how you practice, there may be some differences between dad Dom and mom Dom. Dad doms are usually more stringent than Mommy doms and focus more on moms who focus on parenting and mentoring.

Individuals who think their rigging like bondage is their primary or mere kink, especially rope bondage. They feel satisfied and enjoyed through complex relationships and frequent hangings to create rope art (also known as shibari). By taking away the freedom of movement they created for their partner, it is emotionally and spiritually a place of freedom. One person hits. Like other styles, in these bondage scenes, they pay great attention to the safety of their partner. Proficiency in Shibari requires a lot of training and practice. They can create many different scenes and feelings based solely on the materials used.

Findommes or Financial Doms are those who find satisfaction through enjoyment and financially dominant enjoyment. This can be done in a number of different ways. Some people have their partners or Finsub send them money every month or have them pay for different things in their lives. Some people like to make so-called gutters because their money is taken out of their account when they have their sub-watches. Others just like to control their partners’ budgets and how to spend money. There are many ways to do financial domination. For many, this is their main tangle, but like others, it can be combined with other styles and other tangles.